Friday, April 19, 2013

Whistling From Cars

This could be the most important thing you ever read, gents.
Today as I walking uptown with my good friend a car full of men happened to drive by and make barking noises and catcall us. Let me tell you that was the highest compliment that I, a self respecting  woman, has EVER recieved, and when I asked Daryn how she felt about this anonymous group of men who expressed their appreciation for us in such a neanderthalian manner, she looked me straight in the eye and said "you know what, Alexis, I just wish they could come back so that we could go back to their place! I really love it when men do me the honor of driving by and whistling at me. I don't feel like a piece of meat or a random object to be ogled at at all!" That's right, boys, we girls really go for you just leaning out the window and making random noises at us because that's the only way we'll ever know that we're attractive!

Just take the other incident that happened today when on a way to a high school play another man leaned out his window and yelled "DAAAMMMNNN" appreciatively. I didn't feel violated in the least. Any woman who tells you differently is just lying. Because there is nothing we women like MORE than having men just yell at us from your car as we are walking down the street minding our own business.

And if you REALLY want the girl, you should turn around and continue the playful harassment. It doesn't bother us at all, or even make us worry that you may have less than honorable intentions, since you're in the car and we're on foot. Really, we don't even think for one second that you're a potential rapist who has nothing more to do than follow random woman walkers around and non-verbally alert them to how hot they are.

In fact, we take being whistled at like dogs as a COMPLIMENT. Because what are women but men's playthings? You're right. We're nothing. I'm glad that you, random men in cars are here to set me straight. I wouldn't feel validated unless you were there on my walk to work, hootin' and hollerin' at me.

I'm serious! Keep whistling and cat calling at women who are just trying to take a walk. Because it will most definitely get you a slap in the freaking face because we don't think its cool you effing caveman. 

Today I was harassed in this manner, not once, but like I said, twice. And once, when I was a sophomore in high school me and my friend were walking uptown to go to Wal-Mart and a car full of men decided to drive by us several times and yell lewd things at us, including the term "I wanna f***k you both!" If you think for one second that's a compliment to women anywhere at all, you're wrong.

What do the people in cars who do that expect to accomplish? Do they think I'm going to chase after their car, screaming that I'm theirs now, because they bestowed their grunts and whistles upon me? Men that whistle at me from their car make me afraid. They make me feel like they are going to come back and force themselves upon me, and I know I'm not the only one who has this fear.

There is a reason that women are afraid to be raped, and part of that reason is because men still think that grunting at us as if we were animals is a compliment, and that we will sleep with them at the drop of a hat.  Yes, Billy Bob, I do really like it when you grunt at me appreciatively. Now let's sleep together. NOT.

Here is the thing, douchebag driving cat callers. I will not sleep with you because yell "DAMMMN" out a window. I will not consider dating you when you compliment my butt from a car moving 35 miles per hour. You're not clever, romantic, doing me a favor, or scoring points. You're being an asshole and perpetrating the treatment of women as objects, rather than human beings.


Megan Howen said...

-gives you a standing ovation-
You are golden, my friend. Golden.
And the sarcasm dripping from this post like Niagara Falls is golden too.

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