You don't just go through things with someone and then stop saying they're your sister or best friend because they leave. You just have to learn that some people can't be with you all the time, you know?
I have so many great memories with Carissa. She was my friend since the day we met. Within hours of meeting, we had our first sleepover and our first summer as friends was nothing short of magical. We spent most of our nights playing fugitive, or out at "the spot" watching the sunset and waking up when it rose. We screamed the lyrics to Cashinova's Spaceship in the car on the way to cheer practice and made up goofy dances while walking around town. The first time I took an overnight trip without my grandmother, it was Carissa. We went school shopping.
Carissa used to make fun of me because I was so smart. She called me a "certified nerd" but was the first one to stick up for me when people insulted my intelligence. We ran in different circles, but that didn't mean we stopped talking. She spent a lot of time at my house, she lived there for a long time, in fact. She always made me feel better when I was down, and I tried to do the same for her.
And she always called me on my birthday. Always.
Carissa came into my life and became my sister. She left this huge imprint on my heart.
I remember when her brother died and the way that she cried. It was the most heart breaking thing I have ever heard or seen. I didn't know how she felt until this morning when I got the call. But this time, I feel that I have no one to cling to.
When you go through as much as Carissa and I did together with someone and then they die, it is like losing a piece of your soul. I feel like my heart has a giant hole in it and I don't know how to fix that. I can only hope that this pain will get better with time.
I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it wouldn't be the same.