Sunday, September 8, 2013

FYI (If you're Mrs. Hall)

Dear Mrs. Hall,

I have a few things to say to you in reply to your extremely self-righteous and offensive post from a few days ago. First I would like to start off with a loud, resounding, HOW DARE YOU?

How dare you try to make me and other girls feel shameful about the level of comfort we have with our bodies? Is it really a bad thing to feel comfortable enough in my own skin to post a picture of myself online? And who cares if you can see my nipples through my shirt? Maybe its cold in my room? If your boys don't know that girls have nipples then there is a lot more to worry about than my nipples being visible through my pajama top. Like, oh...biology. And why are you enforcing the already negative stigma that surrounds females and their bodies? I mean, Mrs. Hall, if I assume correctly because you go by "Mrs." and not "Mr." you too, are a female. And I'm sure that you dislike being told what to cover up as much as I do. And also, do you not watch any television shows from the 90's in your house, because there be nipples everywhere in those.

Is it not okay for me to post a selfie before bed? And why am I supposed to hold myself to YOUR standards of propriety when I was raised by completely different people and have completely different morals than you? And also, how is it fair that you assume just because a girl likes to pose with an arched back in her photos she's not a woman of character? I can guarantee that there are some photos of you doing something mildly seductive that were taken in your teenage years, Mrs. Hall, because everyone goes through that phase.

I agree with you on the fact that it is never okay to view someone only as a sexual object, because people are people who deserve care and respect, even if/when they post things like (your definition of) sexy pout selfies online. However, it is not within my power to control how your sons view me. I could be wearing a parka and snow pants with everything but my eyes covered and someone, somewhere would still find me sexually attractive. is it my responsibility to make sure your sons are having honourable thoughts about me? It isn't. At all. It is my job to make sure that I am portraying the me to the world that I want to be known as. If I want to be the girl who makes the cute little pout in her pictures, I will. I get to choose what sexual encounters I do or don't have, I portray myself sexually to the world, and whether or not the world hears about my sexual exploits. Not you, Mrs. Hall. My sexuality, my online presence, and my life is in my control. Not your self-righteous, slut shaming, hands.

And what is all this bullcrap about us being the reason men have such a hard time keeping their thoughts pure? I mean seriously? Did you really say that? Did you really try to make that point? That is the same mentality that brought rape culture into the world. "Well, because he is a boy and can only think with his genitalia, it must be the girls fault for the wildly inappropriate thoughts he has about her, because one time five years ago he saw her nipples through her shirt in a picture on Facebook and now all he sees her as is a sexual object. That's why he raped her". That type of thinking is why women are afraid to seek justice after they are raped, because men and women like you tell them that they, the victim, are somehow to blame because of what they are wearing. As if my basketball shorts and tank top are inviting men to rape me. As if I'm causing men to have impure thoughts and making their lives "an uphill battle to remain pure" because I want to wear a skirt occasionally.

And also - looking at someone's facebook as a family is freaking creepy. Yes, Jimmy, you can have a facebook but every time you check it we're all going to sit around the table and look at all the posts with you, so we can block any girl who isn't up to our standards. We don't want any ratchet whores on your profile, if you're associated with them we might not be viewed as Christian enough for me to write my post about skanky teenagers.

Also, Mrs. Hall, you directed your letter towards teenage girls. These girls are just now learning to express themselves through make-up, hair, internet, and they are fighting a daily battle to become who they want to be, and then you come along and tear them down because some girl's nipples were showing in her picture and instead of being gracious and loving (like a Christian is supposed to) you block her. And then you tell her it's not too late for you to forgive her from you throne made up of crushed egos and self-righteousness as long as she deletes any inappropriate links she may have shared as well as the offending selfies.

Who is this girls parent, Mrs. Hall? Not you. Let her parents worry about her. Let her parents express concern, privately, for whatever girl you are addressing in your post. You do not need to go onto a blog (on the internet) and shame her in front of your peers. Do you feel better after you do that? After you humiliate the girls your sons know do you feel a little bit of a high? Is it lonely at the top of your perfect little tower? And if you think the girl posting the selfie is loving and also smart, you should look for those things in her photos. And I like how you said "we think you are usually smart" like once a girl posts a photo you deem "too sexy" for your teenage boys' eyes she loses on IQ point.

You seem like a wonderful mother who only wants the best for her boys, but we, the targets of your letter, know or are finding out who we are and what is best for us. Let us do that on our own without all of your negativity.



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