Monday, June 1, 2015

When You See Your Ex at A Bar

So, as you all know, I have an recent ex in my life. And normally, I let sleeping exes lie, or some other cliche about trying to stay the ef away from them so as not to incite drama. But sometimes, sometimes, you're at the bar with your new boyfriend and your best gal pal from middle school and you just got your hair done and you maybe have pounded like three jack and cokes because ohmygod they are delicious, and you walk back in and there he is, sitting at the only open table in the whole place and you make a poor decision. You talk to him.

and he's good with kids
Now you may be thinking to yourself, "Alexis Marie Olmstead, you are a 21 year old woman who is more mature than that. You do not need to degrade yourself to talking to exes in bars to prove how happy you are with your new boyfriend. Also, gurl, way to go on your new boyfriend #areyoudatingamodel?" In which case I would say to you, please don't say hashtag out loud. It is embarrassing for all of us. And also, ohmygosh thank you! I think he's pretty as well.

Okay. Back on topic. I did the dumb thing and tried to make him jealous. Like, we sat four feet from him and danced four feet from him, and uhm....#notimpressedwithmyself. Then when I was closing my tab I ended up standing literally right next to him at the bar. So all of a sudden I decide I care what he thinks and stuff. I don't care about this guy, he's my ex! But like, I totally care. And I'm mad that he didn't fucking fight for me to come back. He just sent me forty seven text messages that said the word "please" over and over again. I can't be with someone who won't fight for me and won't stop fighting with me and who calls my friends banal! Yeah, I literally had all these thoughts over the top of each other and then the room got all spinny and I had to go puke in the nasty bar bathroom. Is my life a sitcom? Am I living in some weird "Truman Show" universe? Please tell me that's what it is and that's why I keep making such shitty decisions and always feel like I'm being set up.

So I talked to this guy, my ex, in the bar and made a lame attempt to make him jealous. And you know what it led to? Nothing good. My best friend came to town to watch me try to make a guy jealous, and my boyfriend was a side player in a weird revenge plot. And then this guy kept making all these accusations, like, "you're totally still into me, and you're regretting your life choices and you're an idiot". But here's the thing. I don't regret leaving a guy who shows up to a bar that he hates but he knows I like, just so he can sit there and make me feel guilty for taking a healthy step in my life. I refuse to be made to feel guilty about things that I do in the search for self-fulfillment. Sometimes that search involves me drinking 8 jack and cokes that I'm pretty sure were doubles and having the worst hangover I've ever had and puking three times on the side of the road while taking a five minute drive to get home, but eventually, that search will end.

So here's the moral of the story: if you see your new-ex in a bar don't talk to him. Nothing good happens and you'll end up with a shame hangover.

Alexis Olmstead is a 20something living in Okanogan County and making questionable life choices. She's pretty happy she started this blog, though.. For more overshares, rants, and pointless opinions, check back often. 


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