Thursday, March 20, 2014

SHE-HULK SMASH

Normally I try to refrain from cursing in my posts for the simple fact that there are those who find it inappropriate and will think me less educated or less respectable for doing so. I would like to tell those people right now that while I am very educated and have a sizable vocabulary, today I am angry, and today I am probably going to use slightly less G rated language. 

For some reason I feel like all the assholes of the internet have simultaneously decided to come out of hiding and reveal to the world that they are aliens from the year 1950 and still think that women belong in either the bedroom or the kitchen, and that the only thing good about us as a gender is our ability to have sex. And so, since it's Thursday and I was fed up with these douchebags by Tuesday, I figured it was time to lash out. I am tired of being objectified. I am tired of being treated like I'm second rate because I have boobs. I am tired of random assholes on the street making me feel as though my life was in danger because I want to walk home on a nice evening. And I am especially tired of these self serving dicks hiding behind their damn computers and spreading their filth to the far corners of the internet.

I don't even know where to start on the list of things that set me off this week, I mean, I know that the lack of sleep definitely had something to do with it, but there has just been so much woman hate this week ESPECIALLY that I have been seeing various shades of red for a few days and there are so many things that just made it worse. Ugh. UGGGHHHHHH.

Okay, breathe Alexis, breathe.

We'll start with the story of the Whitworth Confessions post. Whitworth Confessions is a page where students anonymously submit "secrets" and then the administrator posts them. Some are funny, some are sad, this one made a very decent point. "I've had sex with five men and I feel dirty....met a guy who has had sex with 30+ (women) and he gets high fives all around...Just not impressed. Women are sluts, men are studs. Can't win". This girl spoke the truth. If I went out and slept with a different man every night this week, I would develop a reputation as a negative human being. If a guy does it, he is a player, he is a stud, he is held in reverence. Men and women are judged on different scales and society just acts like it is okay for that to happen. Really, it shouldn't matter, because we shouldn't judge people based on who they have sex with or how much sex they are having. Being sexually active is okay. Being a virgin is okay. Judging someone because they are one or the other is not. Now, at a school like Whitworth, where you would think that everyone is loving and accepting and would be able to speak some sense into this child and tell her no, we are all equal and try to make her feel better, some very large jerks happen to live. And honestly, I don't understand how they have made it this far in life or even how they got girlfriends with the way that they treat women (I've witnessed it). You wanna know what asshole number one had to say in response to this? "Skeleton (master) keys vs. Shitty locks". 

SKELETON KEYS VS. SHITTY LOCKS was literally the best thing this guy could come up with. Not only is it the worst analogy ever, but he later went on to defend his statement by saying that he is just a mirror to society and only reflects the opinion held by others. Hey buddy, Jim Jones has some kool-aid waiting for you. Go drink it, you'll like it. I mean, he speaks as if my vagina is something that every guy who might be smooth enough has access to. Uhm, no. I may be biased though, because this same manchild mocked me for telling him that he should allow his girlfriend to be a freethinking woman. He literally made fun of me all night and every time I have an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he doesn't assume it is because I don't know, I'm an intelligent human being, but he implies that my opinion is wrong, I'm a woman, therefore I'm stupid, and there is nothing I can do to remedy the situation. When a female who was commenting on the thread tried to call said asshole out on his comment and horrid analogy, she was insulted, and then when she came back to defend herself was asked if she was on her period.

In case you were wondering, everyone in the world including girls who ask other moody girls if they are PMSing when really you're all just stupid, GIRLS CAN BE CRANKY AND PISSED OFF WHEN THEY AREN'T ON THEIR PERIODS. There are these things called emotions, every human being has them. Female emotions fluctuate regularly, just like male emotions, and sometimes we might even have negative emotions, even if we aren't bleeding from our vagina for seven straight days. Don't like it? Deal with it. I know plenty of places to hide a body and am a PRO at getting blood stains out of clothes.

You can't invalidate someone's argument because they are female. That hasn't been acceptable since the 80's. You can't invalidate a female's argument or opinion because she might be on her period. That's just bad logic. My hormones aren't going to change my opinion. They make me crave ice cream with salt in it, but they aren't going to stop me thinking that the boys who commented on that post are all giant children who will most likely end up divorced and alone unless they learn how to respect women before it is too late.

So that whole episode of Facebook related-anger ended and then tonight, literally about half an hour ago I saw this super awesome video of this girl doing soccer tricks in heels, which made it doubly annoying. Top comment on the video? "Can she cook?" followed by "does she have a penis?". WHAT THE HELL. First, guy number one is all "WOMAN. WOMAN COOK FOR CAVE MAN". And then guy number two, who was actually a female, basically said that this girl wasn't actually impressive because she was a female and obviously the only way to impress people in this shitty ass world is to be born with a penis. Like, "Sorry Joanne, I realized you saved five lives today by carrying those orphans out of a burning building while having only one functional leg, but it's really not that impressive because you have a vagina". Genitalia doesn't make something less or more impressive, kids. This whole "....for a girl" mentality is getting old real quick. Men don't create the standard. The best of the best create the standard. And sometimes, that best happens to be a girl wearing heels kicking a soccer ball around.

Also happening this whole week is the saga of the guy who can't get take a hint. Guy, if you're reading this, be lucky I didn't call you out by name. Dudes in general. If you send a girl a picture of yourself shirtless and then say "you know I'm sexy" and she replies with the most awkward face you could ever imagine and acts disinterested, it is probably because she doesn't find you attractive (or sexy) and is disinterested. For you to continue to persist throughout the entirety of the week after actually only having even been in the same area as this girl twice, is ridiculous, ESPECIALLY when she mentions several times that she doesn't find it necessary for you to send photos of yourself to her. For you to then suggest taking pictures of your lower half, is ludicrous. What are you going to show me? A man who can take a hint? A person with a fully developed brain who can figure out what the word NO means? I would want to see that. In this age of Snapchat and picture messages, it is important to remember that no means no, even if she (he) is rejecting photos that are being sent to them. If a girl doesn't want you sending her shirtless pics, don't do it. Especially if that girl has a blog.

And then, OH MAN. Then some other guy got upset at me because I wouldn't send him nude photos of me. Okay, here's the thing, avid readers, I am not on sending naked pictures terms with anyone I know. And I never will be. If you want to see me naked, there's some other things involved, like I don't know, a long term relationship? Anyways. Objectifying women to the point where you think it is your right to see all women naked is dangerous and stupid. And it is one of the many things that pisses me off. I don't belong to you, dude. I don't have to send you pictures of me, or talk to you, or hang out with you, so you need to stop while you're (kind of) ahead. There is nothing wrong with sending photos of oneself to people. Do whatever you want, I'm not going to judge you, I don't want to see them, but I'm not going to judge you. However, if you ridicule someone for refusing to send promiscuous photos of any sort, I will personally escort you to the gates of Hell and hand you over to the dude in charge myself, you little prick. Humans are not objects and no matter what you do for someone, that doesn't mean they owe you anything in terms of sexual practices.

EVER.

So get rid of that stupid ass term "friend zone". The friend zone is a fictional place men like to pretend they reside in when a girl they are nice to refuses to date them. Because a majority of men believe that if they are nice to things that have vagina's, they will get to take a thing with a vagina home and keep it locked up in the kitchen as a pet. WRONG. And then they get upset when they do nice things for a girl and the girl won't go out with them. Oh, she "let" you take her to lunch? I would have to, even I had no intention of pursuing a relationship with the guy offering, because let's face it: who turns down free food? Certainly not  me. Girls aren't prizes to be won, contrary to what movies and television would have you believe. Women are individuals who might think you are a wonderful friend but won't date you because the romantic attraction isn't there. How is it wrong to agree to be someone's friend and not date them, even if you might have feelings for that girl? Why is she suddenly in the wrong because she won't date someone she doesn't find attractive in any way? I mean, boys lead girls on all the time, and it is perfectly okay. Oh, that's right. I'm wrong because I'm a woman. That's it, isn't it? Being a woman is inherently wrong in today's world.

Or not.

Treat all women like human beings. If you have a daughter, imagine someone saying these horrible things to her. Or your sister, or your mother! If you wouldn't say it to them, don't say it to any other woman, either. Respect women. We deserve it.


Alexis Olmstead is a very tired and very angry 20 year old working out of Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington. She works part time as a waitress, but being a diva is a full time commitment. When she isn't tearing apart strangers over the internet, she is watching way too much tv and crocheting hats she'll never wear. For more rants, check back often. 

1 comments:

Megan Howen said...

-tumultuous applause-

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