I'm sure that you'll agree with much of this.
If you didn't know something contained in this post, I'm sorry.
So as a female there is a certain time of month where I eat more than usual, I cry more than usual, humanity is more annoying than usual, and a small alien tries to claw its way out of my uterus. I'm not even kidding about that last bit. I'm convinced that there is an alien in my uterus. Anyways. This time of the month is commonly known as "having ones period" and it happens to most females. This is not, I repeat NOT a happy time. However, that is not what advertisements would have the general non-period having public believe. It cracks me up. So today we will be examining some things that happen in period commercials and then what actually happens.
Always brand has a really famous slogan. If you can't quote it, chances are, you're not a female, or you don't have a television. Anyways, "Have a Happy Period." Has been the slogan of this popular tampon brand for ages. Along with print ads like this:
|Now that's a metaphor.|
|I hope your tampon doesn't leak|
you'll get eaten by a shark!
I told you aliens were clawing their way out of our uteri. Oh, and on top of that, add a lot of eating and crying.
Basically, tampon ads are liars. And why? WHY? I used to really look forward to getting my period. I was like, that looks awesome! Oh, how wrong I was. Well the whole reason is because most western society has issues with anything resembling leakage from the body, from sneezing to breastfeeding and periods, so what happens? Euphemism filled commercials about periods. I wasn't kidding when I said you can't handle the truth, America really can't handle the truth about periods. And hence, a lot of men are confused as to what a tampon even LOOKS like, and watching them try to buy them is seriously the best thing ever. Honestly, there are so many different options in tampon and pad land that its embarrassing and difficult to go to the store and just grab a package of tampons. Don't believe me? Watch this video where a boy tries to buy tampons for his girlfriend and asks for advice from men AND women, and leaves most people stumped.
What's also really interesting is that tampon ads really like to skip the whole anatomy part of periods. Like, they show women being all fun and stuff, but the commercials are filled to overflowing with euphemisms for what's actually going on. And it's awesome. Tampax likes to use the whole "Mother Nature and her Unwanted Gift" angle, and many others don't even describe the situation at hand, you just know. Because there is a girl wearing all white and she's caught in an embarrassing situation. And then it ends with "at least your tampon didn't leak".
What's really funny though, is that tampon companies actually can't use the word vagina in marketing, even in America, where we pretty much use whatever language we want when it comes to advertising and television. This ad by UbyKotex was actually banned from television because of the use of the word Vagina, and then, when it was reshot to state "down there" which I mean, come on, my fourth grade sister says that, it still wasn't allowed on television. Which is a shame, because its probably one of the most hilarious period related commercials I've seen in a while. Here you can see what I'm thinking is that ad that they finally allowed on tv, with no mention of vaginas at all, which is ironic, since that's where tampons go...but whatever.
In closing, I offer a couple of my favorite responses to tampon ads ever. And I also hope that advetisers keep moving forward with this whole issue. Because heaven forbid they come up with more ways to say "I'm on my period." Because honestly, period euphemisms are something the world needs WAY less of. I'm so sick and tired of hearing people say they are getting a visit from "Auntie Flo" or some other crap like that. We are women, we bleed. It happens.