This isn't in any particular order, I just listed them as I got irritated.
6. "I'm not gay but I support gay rights."
What I actually hear: "Well, my friends are gay, but I don't want anyone to think I'm gay."
Just for the record, if you have to clarify that you're not gay before stating you support gay rights, how much do you REALLY support the lgbt community? I mean really, "I'm not a dog, but I support their right to have owners who don't beat them". "I'm not an AIDS patient, but I support AIDS research". Doesn't that sound ridiculous? It does. Almost as ridiculous as "I'm not gay but I support gay rights".
If you are so ashamed of a movement that every time you show support you have to add the disclaimer "I'm not actually part of this group" then you need to re-evaluate your support. Furthermore, god forbid people think you're a part of the group you show support for. Why not just leave your sexual orientation out of the equation when declaring your support, instead of adding an invisible #nohomo to the end of it. Believe it or not, injecting straightness into into the frame of gay rights actually HURTS the lgbt movement, rather than helping it.
If you are truly an ally that means you are willing to embrace the pains of people who support a cause that isn't supported by the majority. It means that you deal with people thinking that you're gay even if you're not, because why is that something to be ashamed of? Take your sexual preference out of your support statements and actually help the cause.
5. Rape Jokes. Any Rape Jokes at All.
What I actually hear: "I'm totally okay with the fact that every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. Also, I'm a giant ass."
I want to meet the guy who used the word rape casually for the first time. I want to go to the moment when he jokingly stated that he was raped by something and then shank him before he (or she) spreads this filthy trend throughout the world. Making jokes about something traumatic isn't funny.
Making jokes about something implies that you think it is funny. If you think rape is funny, then make jokes about it, but know that you are a disgusting human being. If you don't think rape is funny, then don't make rape jokes, simple as that.
Now please understand that this is not me being an "uptight female who has no sense of humour". In fact, I'm quite the opposite. However, I fail to find the funny part of unwanted, forced intercourse. And I doubt I ever will.
Also, jokingly threatening to rape someone isn't funny in any context. In fact, if someone ever comes up to me and says they are going to rape me, joking or not, I will report them to police. Because rape is serious. And no one should ever joke about it.
4. "Are you on your period?"
What I Actually Hear: "I can't think of any other reason as to why you might be upset other than the fact that you get hormonal and moody once a month due to your gender. Yes, I also equate all your other moods to your gender because I'm an idiot."
I'm sure a lot of girls can relate here, but when people attribute my bad mood to the fact that I may be on a period I get really upset. I'm sorry, am I only allowed to be in a bad mood 7 days out of every month? No. I'm allowed to be angry whenever I damn well please. And if any of you read my rant post, you'll know I get angry quite a lot. So attributing my revulsion of the human race to my period is not only insulting but also rude.
Basic point here - girls can be moody when they aren't on their period! If you didn't know that before, you know it now!
3. "You ____ Like a Girl".
What I actually hear: "I still believe that women are the inferior gender. And I'm an idiot."
For the record, girls get stuff done. Like seriously, you can thank a woman for the internet you're reading this post on. You can thank a woman for being alive, because she gave birth to you, and you can thank a woman for the cellphone you use, anti-fungal antibiotics, and chocolate chip cookies.
And for the record if you think that women are the weaker sex, let me remind you that the pain from giving birth is traumatic that the brain actually shuts out the memory. So women know it felt bad, like really, really bad and painful, but they will never EVER remember just how painful it was. What can men compare to that? Nothing except for getting shot.
Want to hear more about how stupid this statement is? Read my post on it.
2. "Just Get Over It"
What I actually hear: "I don't care that you're upset and it would be easier on me if you just moved on".
People get upset. That's a valid emotion - sadness or anger or whatever upset means. And if someone trusts you, they will confide in you as to why you're upset. Your response, as the person they have trusted enough to handle their feelings when they are at an emotional low should NEVER be "just get over it".
Why? Because it immediately invalidates their feelings. Telling someone who is upset to just get over it won't help. If a friend comes to you for advice and you can't say anything except this, you're a terrible friend. There is always better advice to give. Or don't give any advice at all, just give them a hug.
Be useful when people ask you for help, not a prat.
1. "You're Too Young".
What I actually hear: "I doubt your ability to achieve this thing because I don't understand how someone can achieve something at a younger age than what I achieved it at."
I understand that sometimes people are actually too young to do something. Such as my 11 year old sister being too young to date. She will also be too young to date until she turns 35. But that's besides the point. When a young person sets out to achieve something, don't dull their shine, or crush their hopes by doubting their capability because of their age.
In fact, children are intensely capable. Akrit Jaswal from India performed his first surgery at the age of seven. Mozart made his debut as a musical genius at the age of four. Chopin achieved notability at the age of 15. Micheal Kearney was a professor at a college by 17. All children. All amazing.
Age isn't a limit on very many things. I know that I've listed some pretty big anomalies to child development, since most aren't ready to learn college material, let alone to teach it by 17. But that doesn't mean that they still can't do great things, or achieve smaller things on the path to greatness later on while they are still young. By telling a child now that they can't achieve something because of their age, you are starting them down a road filled with excuses as to why they can't achieve anything later on.
No one is ever too young. They just don't have anyone to believe in them.
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