I Am Not a Failure

I am going to warn you in advance I'm posting this from my phone, therefore the words and grammar and such may be wonky. I'll fix it later. 

Sometimes I feel like a complete failure. I look at my life and what I've accomplished so far and I feel awful about myself. I haven't gone back to college yet, I've never done anything astounding with any of my talents, and right now my goal in life is to pay the bills. I mean, I have dreams, but sometimes I think that everything I've ever wanted is just going to be a dream. I feel like I'm going to be a small town nobody. Because this is one of my biggest fears, I think about it constantly. 

But at times like these someone usually comes along and makes me feel better about the situation. But recently, I grew up (I know, right?). And I have discovered that sometimes you have to be your own best friend, your own shoulder to cry on, and your own inspiration. 

So whenever I start to feel like a failure I remember a laundry list of reasons why I'm the exact opposite. 

When I was 13, I reported my mother for child abuse and saved myself and my brothers from a life of terror. 

Until I was 13 I played mother to my two you get brothers and made sure they were on the bus everyday for school. I taught one of them to read. I did the cooking most nights. I did all the cleaning. I played parent to myself. I made sure that my homework and my brothers got done before we went to bed, I made up all homework that I missed from being forced to stay home and take care of my brothers.

A little girl told me once she wanted to grow up and be like me, and as much as that scares me, someone saw something in me that they wanted to emulate forever . 

I have never been turned down for a job. 

I make all my money and pay all my bills alone. I paid for the schooling I did receive and I pay for the student loans leftover from that year. 

I have beautiful eyes that light up when I smile and people tell me that my smile makes them want to smile, too. 

I'm a damn good writer. 

I feel that everyone needs to know that they are not a failure. Even if you're not where you want to be in life, you are amazing and even though we are taking the road less traveled to our dreams, we will make it. I swear. We are amazing, reader, and we are inspirational, even if we are only inspirational to ourselves. I inspire me to be a good person. 13 year old me did everything she could to be a successful human being, I refuse to let that little girl down. 

I am not a failure and in the dark nights where I sit and think I am, I'm going to look back on this post and remember that I am indeed an okay human with a future as bright as I want it to be. 

Alexis Olmstead is a full time diva and a part time waitress. She is currently starring in OVOC's "Wizard of Oz" as Dorothy while trying to get to the other side of her personal rainbow. 

Dissociating From My Gender

Everywhere I go, no matter what I'm doing or who I'm around I hear some variation of the phrase "I'm not like most girls". And most people don't think anything of it. But that phrase really bothers me. Like, REALLY bothers me.

Why?

To me saying "I'm not like most girls" is an attempt at separating oneself from the female gender as a whole in order to be looked at in a more positive light, as if being a woman is bad. I mean, there are many reasons why we could be led to believe that, but it is really hard to choose which example to go with here, considering women get paid less than men simply because they are women, rape victims are blamed for getting raped because there is this weird belief that a woman is an object of sexual pleasure not an actual human being, we are seen as weak, fussy, needy, high maintenance, and countless other negative things. So I can see the need to make a statement and say "hey, I'm not all those bad things you think women are". But repeating the tired "not like most" cliche statement isn't the way to do it. Because saying that phrase implies that you believe that those are negative traits that a woman has. And that isn't true. Also, saying you're not like most girls kind of makes you just like most girls, reader. You're defeating yourself.

If you want to prove that you truly are a special snowflake, prove it by the way you act, show that women aren't these negative things to be used and thrown away or disrespected. Prove that you're just as worthy as a man and unique and wonderful in your own special way. Because like it or not, you are a woman/girl, and to make yourself different you needn't do anything but be proud of your crooked smile and less than perfect hair. Be proud of you for being you. But don't throw the rest of our gender under the bus in an attempt to make yourself look cooler in front of guys and/or other girls.

Here's the thing reader: if you're a girl, chances are, you're probably like most girls. Sorry. Humans are humans are humans and there are things that are just part of the human condition. But there are things that you do and character traits that you have that make you unique. And so no, you don't have to confine yourself to the box members of the patriarchy would have you huddle in, but remember just because one person thinks it bad to be a female doesn't mean it actually is.


Alexis Olmstead is a 20something living in Okanogan County, WA. She is a part time waitress and a full time diva who is currently playing Dorothy in Okanogan Valley Orchastra and Chorus's production of Wizard of Oz. For more rants and reflections on life, check back often. 

This Just In - Reading Cosmo Makes You A Bad Feminist

Recently - as in today - Buzzfeed posted a quiz titled "Are You A Bad Feminist?". Immediately I was intrigued, and also a little scared, because what if I am a bad feminist? But then I realized something. And before I took the test, or even clicked on the link I was kind of angry.

Being a feminist is essentially subscribing to a belief system. No, it's not a religion. But being a feminist means you believe things that other people might not. It's just like being liberal, or Republican, or Atheist. And there is nothing worse than being told that you don't believe what you believe correctly. However, I went in to the quiz thinking that there might be questions like, "do you believe that people deserve rape?" or "is it okay for women to be paid less than men?" NOPE. Neither of those questions appeared. Nothing in that vein appeared AT ALL in fact.

There were 56 statements on the quiz, ranging from "you're quite fond of Kate Middleton" to "you read cosmo", "you shave your armpits", and "you've never seen Girls". The more you check off, apparently the worse of a feminist you become.

But here's the thing. Just because I've never seen Girls, I like nail art, Miley Cyrus, the occasional T Swifty song, shave my legs and armpits, never did roller derby or burlesque (HAHAHAHA imagine me trying to be sexy and sing and strip - no), and refuse to judge women who want to change their last names after getting married doesn't mean I'm a bad feminist, because being judged who I am as a woman is one of the many reasons I am a feminist. Correct me if I'm wrong, but along with gaining equal rights as a gender and getting equal pay and respect, I thought that being accepted for being a woman on my own terms was one of the big things that feminism stood for.

And I am tired, SO FREAKING TIRED, of being told through the media, through opinion polls, and by other feminists that I am a bad feminist because I wear dresses and make-up and spend roughly 45 minutes doing my hair.

Personally I go through a lot of "moods" when I'm feeling especially feministy (I'm a feminist all the time sometimes I'm just more loud about it). Most days I'm either Beyonce or Zooey Deschanel. And yeah, they are two very different people, but they are working for the same thing. Women to be accepted as women, who are strong, independent people, who can take control. Beyonce is aggressive about her stance on women's rights in her music, and Zooey works hard to get accepted as a real feminist because she's a girly girl.

I'm a girly girl. That is why I also identify with her. Like she said in an interview with Glamour magazine "I want to be a f-ing feminist and wear a f-ing peter pan collar, so f-ing what?" Women can still be strong and dominant no matter what they wear, even if its polka dot dresses and chunky headbands.

So how dare you, Buzzfeed writer Cate Sevilla, make women and young girls feel bad and not worthy of the feminist title that they proudly display for the world to see. A feminist who is working to make the world a better place for those around her and those who come after her is a good feminist, no matter what she wears, who she watches on tv, or what music she listens to. Anyone saying otherwise needs to re-evaluate why they became a feminist.

Peace, Love, and Equality,

The apparently problematic feminist, Alexis.

"I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the past 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person. It freaks me out. I'm sorry that I don't like Murphy Brown. And I hate your pants suit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something just to make it slightly cuter but that doesn't mean I'm not smart, tough, and strong."

- Jess Day, "New Girl"

Alexis Olmstead is a proud feminist and avid New Girl viewer. When she isn't reading Buzzfeed articles and criticizing people who should know better than to mess with feminists, she is attempting to memorize an entire show in three weeks before opening night. For more rants, raves, and life updates, check back often. 

Acting Men, Appearing Women.

"Men act and women appear."- John Berger

Why do we protect ugly men, but not ugly women? Before you jump at me with the whole "everyone is beautiful" thing, remember that beauty is subjective and dependent on personal taste. And so yes, everyone is beautiful, but what we as two completely separate people, reader, find beautiful is very, very different.

Anyways. When a man is less than the societal norm of attractive and someone points it out, there is always another person quick to step in and interject with qualities that make up for the fact he isn't as pretty as one might have wished. "Yeah, I know he's not super cute, but mylanta can he is so funny!" If a woman is less than the societal norm of attractive she isn't allowed qualities to make up for it, she is just ugly and the only thing to fix it is adding make-up or getting surgery or wearing a bag on her head.

And why? Why is this a thing? Why are men protected from being viewed as ugly in any circumstance while women are thrown under the ugly bus if their hair is wrong?

We could point fingers at the media, sending messages through television and movies that no matter what men look like, if their personality is good enough, or they fight hard enough, or they are a little less of an asshole they will end up with a girl, and not even just a girl, THE girl. But I don't think that is the whole problem. Because is we start blaming the media, we also have to pay attention to the fact that in most movies the men get awards and the women end up domesticated.

No, no. I think the problem goes far beyond media. We know that the men and women are viewed and why they are viewed differently is a mark of society as a whole and that most people blindly follow an example placed before them instead of questioning what they are doing and trying to make a change for the better, but where does that end? And how did it begin? Alexis Olmstead investigates.

The main problem is that from a young age women are taught that above all, we must be beautiful, we must be desirable, no one is going to want to be our friend, our boss, or our lover if we aren't good looking enough, because if we aren't pretty, then how will anyone know that we are also funny, and smart, and have other good traits about us? And I'm not just blowing smoke here. Studies have shown that women who are pretty are seen as having more good traits about them. If you read that whole article, you also read that women who are good looking are also more likely to conform, meaning that we, as a gender are referred to as ugly, there could be nothing wrong with us aesthetically, it could be that we refuse to blindly follow those who have gone on before us. But really, we, as a gender, cannot expect to still be considered funny, or smart, or kind if we are not what most people think of as pretty, we don't have that to fall back on. If one part of our self is seen as ugly, our entire being is then ugly.

But not men! If a man is less than 100% attractive he has a buffer, called his personality. I have never heard a guy make an excuse for dating someone his best friend thought was ugly by saying "yeah, but she has a great personality" but women do it all the time! And there is nothing wrong with that. People should date people for their personality, not for their looks. But there is something wrong with the fact that men can opt out of caring about their appearance because they aren't expected to wear make-up. And yeah, some of them may say they prefer girls who go natural and don't wear make-up, but their idea of natural beauty is still enhanced with cosmetics. Men aren't expected to have it together one hundred percent of the time, and in a world where Hilary Clinton is criticized in the news for not wearing make-up because it's "unprofessional", while her pudgy, red-faced, male-counterparts sit there and nothing is said about their appearance, this is painfully obvious.

Women we idolize are also adding to how men perceive us. Think about who is the most famous right now, and who appears in magazines. All of the women are runway ready most of the time. They workout, they go to the gym, they are always put together, and then the famous man bundle of today includes people like Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, and Will Ferrell. There is nothing wrong with any of these men, but they are famous and women are drooling all over them, yet they are ordinary looking dudes. In today's mainstream media, women have to be super models, men just have to be okay.

Here's the thing that I am realizing: pretty is being dumbed down. Pretty is ordinary and ordinary is ugly, in regards to women, that is. For men, ordinary is what does it for most people all across the board. Women are told consistently that they are never good enough so that they will buy in the billion dollar beauty industry and continue to do so for the rest of their lives. And just when women start to realize that they can be normal and still be considered pretty, someone or something, normally the patriarchy, finds a way to smack us right back down to where we were when we started and resign us to be the silent, passive beauties in the corner that history has resigned us to.

If a woman is ugly, she is going to be told she will go nowhere in life. And as (sadly) science has shown, she might not make it as far as a more attractive female. And if she does does become a higher up, people are going to think she is ugly and bossy anyways, so what's the point in fighting it? Nonconforming normal women, let's be ugly and proud, because no matter what, according to society, profoundly beautiful women will never be as good or deserving as ordinary men.




Alexis Olmstead is a part-time waitress and a full time diva living in sunny Okanogan County. She currently spends all of her time trying to memorize her lines so she will be off book when she is supposed to be. She is currently obsessing over Dancing With the Stars (go team M&M!) and attempting to write the perfect program bio. For more updates, check back every so often. 

Stop Telling Me To Smile

Stop telling me I'm prettier when I smile. Stop telling me I shouldn't eat that. Stop ordering for me when we go out. I am not a barbie doll. If I wanted a smile painted on my face, I'd take care of it without any input from you. I am not a health nut. If I was, my ex-boyfriend wouldn't remind me that our first kiss happened while I was eating gummy bears. I am not perfect. If I were meant to be perfect, I would not be a human.
I am a woman. I am everything a man can be and maybe a bit more. I create life. And while I am busy preparing my body to bring forth life there is many a man out there being put away for taking a life out of this world.

I am a woman. I am pigeon-holed. Because my eyebrows arch over my sunglasses and I don't walk about with a smile pasted on my face, I am a bitch. I am bossy because I like things done right, a man with the same attributes is called a leader, and when I draw attention to this fact, I am called a femi-nazi, while a man doing the same thing is called a hero. I have lifted trays full of food with one arm for almost a year now and a man still ended his compliment of my strength with "for a girl". Let me remind you, sir, that it is women who are still pursuing change in the world. Let me remind all of you, that women are fighting along side men in everything, women are taking the world by storm. We aren't a dirty word or a second class citizen, we are humans, we are capable and we deserve equality.

I am apparently a liberal because I foolishly believe that everyone is equal. I am radical because I speak out against the sexism of the world. I am foolish and silly and even a tad naive for wanting women to be equal to men. For the equal pay act to mean women are paid equally. For sexism to quit existing. I am silly and "oh, just so young" when I talk to older generations about these issues because apparently as I continue living in the world I will realize how much of a foolish girl I am and change my mind on all of this. I will become complacent.

But what if I don't? What if I am still the girl who refuses to stop looking for change, to stop seeking a right to all this wrong? Then I suddenly become the eccentric Ms. Olmstead. The crazy lady who lives next door, the diehard try-hard. And people are embarrassed of me because there is nothing worse than an liberal old feminist woman. Except apparently for a young one.

Here's the thing. I'm not going to change the way I am or who I am until the world changes for me. I will continue to be upset when I called doll, or sweetie, or honey by condescending old men, I will continue to flip off strangers who tell me to smile and I will continue to take pride in the fact that I refuse to live by anyone's rules but my own, and call me stupid, but I feel like we could all accomplish more if that was more acceptable.

The No Make-Up Selfie Raises Awareness for.....Your Face.

Recently women have begun posting photos of their faces without make up and claiming they are doing it to "raise breast cancer awareness". Let me explain to you why that is just an all around ridiculous idea.  Women with breast cancer many times lose touch with their femininity - they feel that they are no longer women because one of the major body parts that identifies them AS women is more often than not literally removed from their person. They go through chemotherapy, extremely invasive surgery and wither away. But the best the creator of this meme/trend could come up with was to have perfectly healthy women post pictures of themselves without make-up so they could be seen at their "ugliest"?

When I first saw a no make-up post I thought it was a joke. I tried to justify it. Maybe she's joking and just doesn't know how to explain why this is funny. Maybe she is comparing herself without make-up to a cancer victim - OHMYGOD THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL ARE DOING WHEN YOU DO THIS. Even if the act is conscious or not, even if you are just doing it because you got tagged by someone else, that is the heart of this whole thing. Is that whoever did it first thought that by not wearing make-up, they were somehow comparable to a breast cancer victim. And if you are saying that, are you also saying that cancer patients are ugly?

I mean, I don't understand. And crazy trends like this don't raise awareness for anything. At this point in time it is important that women are getting checked for Breast Cancer because everyone in the world knows it is a thing that could happen to them. But not wearing make-up isn't going to magically remind anyone to go in for a mammogram. Obviously. What is going to remind women to get a mammogram is going in yourself and getting checked. If you are anxious to share how eager you are to make sure everyone gets checked then post those informational graphics about how to self-check at home. 

And you ALL are missing the point! You know how I know? Because you're doing it because you were tagged, chances are if you knew that the whole thing began after the Oscars with celebrities supporting Kim Novak, a breast cancer survivor who was criticized at the Academy Awards for her very obvious plastic surgery, you might not be so eager to join in. 

And then, if any of you knew that the whole thing was capitalized on and is actually a fundraising campaign over in the UK, and donated money to a breast cancer research campaign, you might be ACTUALLY making a damn difference. Thinly veiled vanity is not philanthropy. There is nothing wrong with taking a selfie. But if you have to give it a reason like "breast cancer awareness" then there could possibly be a problem.

Women of the world, go get yourselves checked. Breast Cancer can literally hit anyone and everyone. And if you are lucky enough to be found cancer free, remember to help out your sisters on Earth and donate some money to a company that can make a difference. You are not brave for not wearing make-up. You are brave for helping someone who can never help you back. 

SHE-HULK SMASH

Normally I try to refrain from cursing in my posts for the simple fact that there are those who find it inappropriate and will think me less educated or less respectable for doing so. I would like to tell those people right now that while I am very educated and have a sizable vocabulary, today I am angry, and today I am probably going to use slightly less G rated language. 

For some reason I feel like all the assholes of the internet have simultaneously decided to come out of hiding and reveal to the world that they are aliens from the year 1950 and still think that women belong in either the bedroom or the kitchen, and that the only thing good about us as a gender is our ability to have sex. And so, since it's Thursday and I was fed up with these douchebags by Tuesday, I figured it was time to lash out. I am tired of being objectified. I am tired of being treated like I'm second rate because I have boobs. I am tired of random assholes on the street making me feel as though my life was in danger because I want to walk home on a nice evening. And I am especially tired of these self serving dicks hiding behind their damn computers and spreading their filth to the far corners of the internet.

I don't even know where to start on the list of things that set me off this week, I mean, I know that the lack of sleep definitely had something to do with it, but there has just been so much woman hate this week ESPECIALLY that I have been seeing various shades of red for a few days and there are so many things that just made it worse. Ugh. UGGGHHHHHH.

Okay, breathe Alexis, breathe.

We'll start with the story of the Whitworth Confessions post. Whitworth Confessions is a page where students anonymously submit "secrets" and then the administrator posts them. Some are funny, some are sad, this one made a very decent point. "I've had sex with five men and I feel dirty....met a guy who has had sex with 30+ (women) and he gets high fives all around...Just not impressed. Women are sluts, men are studs. Can't win". This girl spoke the truth. If I went out and slept with a different man every night this week, I would develop a reputation as a negative human being. If a guy does it, he is a player, he is a stud, he is held in reverence. Men and women are judged on different scales and society just acts like it is okay for that to happen. Really, it shouldn't matter, because we shouldn't judge people based on who they have sex with or how much sex they are having. Being sexually active is okay. Being a virgin is okay. Judging someone because they are one or the other is not. Now, at a school like Whitworth, where you would think that everyone is loving and accepting and would be able to speak some sense into this child and tell her no, we are all equal and try to make her feel better, some very large jerks happen to live. And honestly, I don't understand how they have made it this far in life or even how they got girlfriends with the way that they treat women (I've witnessed it). You wanna know what asshole number one had to say in response to this? "Skeleton (master) keys vs. Shitty locks". 

SKELETON KEYS VS. SHITTY LOCKS was literally the best thing this guy could come up with. Not only is it the worst analogy ever, but he later went on to defend his statement by saying that he is just a mirror to society and only reflects the opinion held by others. Hey buddy, Jim Jones has some kool-aid waiting for you. Go drink it, you'll like it. I mean, he speaks as if my vagina is something that every guy who might be smooth enough has access to. Uhm, no. I may be biased though, because this same manchild mocked me for telling him that he should allow his girlfriend to be a freethinking woman. He literally made fun of me all night and every time I have an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he doesn't assume it is because I don't know, I'm an intelligent human being, but he implies that my opinion is wrong, I'm a woman, therefore I'm stupid, and there is nothing I can do to remedy the situation. When a female who was commenting on the thread tried to call said asshole out on his comment and horrid analogy, she was insulted, and then when she came back to defend herself was asked if she was on her period.

In case you were wondering, everyone in the world including girls who ask other moody girls if they are PMSing when really you're all just stupid, GIRLS CAN BE CRANKY AND PISSED OFF WHEN THEY AREN'T ON THEIR PERIODS. There are these things called emotions, every human being has them. Female emotions fluctuate regularly, just like male emotions, and sometimes we might even have negative emotions, even if we aren't bleeding from our vagina for seven straight days. Don't like it? Deal with it. I know plenty of places to hide a body and am a PRO at getting blood stains out of clothes.

You can't invalidate someone's argument because they are female. That hasn't been acceptable since the 80's. You can't invalidate a female's argument or opinion because she might be on her period. That's just bad logic. My hormones aren't going to change my opinion. They make me crave ice cream with salt in it, but they aren't going to stop me thinking that the boys who commented on that post are all giant children who will most likely end up divorced and alone unless they learn how to respect women before it is too late.

So that whole episode of Facebook related-anger ended and then tonight, literally about half an hour ago I saw this super awesome video of this girl doing soccer tricks in heels, which made it doubly annoying. Top comment on the video? "Can she cook?" followed by "does she have a penis?". WHAT THE HELL. First, guy number one is all "WOMAN. WOMAN COOK FOR CAVE MAN". And then guy number two, who was actually a female, basically said that this girl wasn't actually impressive because she was a female and obviously the only way to impress people in this shitty ass world is to be born with a penis. Like, "Sorry Joanne, I realized you saved five lives today by carrying those orphans out of a burning building while having only one functional leg, but it's really not that impressive because you have a vagina". Genitalia doesn't make something less or more impressive, kids. This whole "....for a girl" mentality is getting old real quick. Men don't create the standard. The best of the best create the standard. And sometimes, that best happens to be a girl wearing heels kicking a soccer ball around.

Also happening this whole week is the saga of the guy who can't get take a hint. Guy, if you're reading this, be lucky I didn't call you out by name. Dudes in general. If you send a girl a picture of yourself shirtless and then say "you know I'm sexy" and she replies with the most awkward face you could ever imagine and acts disinterested, it is probably because she doesn't find you attractive (or sexy) and is disinterested. For you to continue to persist throughout the entirety of the week after actually only having even been in the same area as this girl twice, is ridiculous, ESPECIALLY when she mentions several times that she doesn't find it necessary for you to send photos of yourself to her. For you to then suggest taking pictures of your lower half, is ludicrous. What are you going to show me? A man who can take a hint? A person with a fully developed brain who can figure out what the word NO means? I would want to see that. In this age of Snapchat and picture messages, it is important to remember that no means no, even if she (he) is rejecting photos that are being sent to them. If a girl doesn't want you sending her shirtless pics, don't do it. Especially if that girl has a blog.

And then, OH MAN. Then some other guy got upset at me because I wouldn't send him nude photos of me. Okay, here's the thing, avid readers, I am not on sending naked pictures terms with anyone I know. And I never will be. If you want to see me naked, there's some other things involved, like I don't know, a long term relationship? Anyways. Objectifying women to the point where you think it is your right to see all women naked is dangerous and stupid. And it is one of the many things that pisses me off. I don't belong to you, dude. I don't have to send you pictures of me, or talk to you, or hang out with you, so you need to stop while you're (kind of) ahead. There is nothing wrong with sending photos of oneself to people. Do whatever you want, I'm not going to judge you, I don't want to see them, but I'm not going to judge you. However, if you ridicule someone for refusing to send promiscuous photos of any sort, I will personally escort you to the gates of Hell and hand you over to the dude in charge myself, you little prick. Humans are not objects and no matter what you do for someone, that doesn't mean they owe you anything in terms of sexual practices.

EVER.

So get rid of that stupid ass term "friend zone". The friend zone is a fictional place men like to pretend they reside in when a girl they are nice to refuses to date them. Because a majority of men believe that if they are nice to things that have vagina's, they will get to take a thing with a vagina home and keep it locked up in the kitchen as a pet. WRONG. And then they get upset when they do nice things for a girl and the girl won't go out with them. Oh, she "let" you take her to lunch? I would have to, even I had no intention of pursuing a relationship with the guy offering, because let's face it: who turns down free food? Certainly not  me. Girls aren't prizes to be won, contrary to what movies and television would have you believe. Women are individuals who might think you are a wonderful friend but won't date you because the romantic attraction isn't there. How is it wrong to agree to be someone's friend and not date them, even if you might have feelings for that girl? Why is she suddenly in the wrong because she won't date someone she doesn't find attractive in any way? I mean, boys lead girls on all the time, and it is perfectly okay. Oh, that's right. I'm wrong because I'm a woman. That's it, isn't it? Being a woman is inherently wrong in today's world.

Or not.

Treat all women like human beings. If you have a daughter, imagine someone saying these horrible things to her. Or your sister, or your mother! If you wouldn't say it to them, don't say it to any other woman, either. Respect women. We deserve it.


Alexis Olmstead is a very tired and very angry 20 year old working out of Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington. She works part time as a waitress, but being a diva is a full time commitment. When she isn't tearing apart strangers over the internet, she is watching way too much tv and crocheting hats she'll never wear. For more rants, check back often.