Healthy Anger

It's not RBF if you're actually mad.

For a long time I have repressed all the anger I hold inside my body. Things make me so angry I see red, I stuff them deep down under my abandonment issues, I cry a little, and I move on, never thinking about it again. Or at least that's what I'd like to think - but a day, week, month, later it comes back to haunt me. This anger seeping through every piece of me, eating me alive.

Sure, I show irritation. Yes, I get mad. At little things. I raise my voice, I do the arguing thing, about little stuff. The big stuff that I should process and be angry about in a totally healthy manner? Forget about it. I refuse to acknowledge that stuff. Because usually dealing with larger issues that make me angry results in me having to cut someone out, to tell someone I used to care about I can't spend time caring about them anymore, to stand up for myself and potentially be told that who I am makes them hate me. I am honestly scared of dealing with "the big stuff".

This anger eats at me. It turns into cynicism, into randomly blowing up at friends and family, large increases in depressive and anxious episodes. I have so many unresolved issues that their books could write books (or maybe infrequent blogs where they would rant about Romeo and Juliet being a tragedy and not a romance).

Tonight I got so angry I felt sick. I started to do the thing where I refuse to recognize my anger, and just push it down and don't worry about it. But I decided I was going to fix it. I am angry. I am so angry I'm shaking, and I'm angry about so many things I could just sit here and spout them off for like, a week. I talk about my depression and anxiety on this blog fairly often. You all know most of my journey and what I deal with. But I refrain from going overboard with the "poor me, poor me" posts because I don't want anyone to think I'm seeking out pity, or sympathy. I'm not. I'm just creating a dialogue about completely normal disorders.

Well being angry is also normal. And today I'm angry for a reason I've recognized and vented about but also so many more reasons. I'm angry I can't see my brothers before they move to a different state, I'm angry because there's a disturbed individual on this planet who sexually assaulted me, I'm angry because I'm broke, and I need money, and I need a place to live, and while two of those problems will be resolved soon, finding a place to live is proving to be discouraging. I'm angry because I'm going to have to go back on meds and the adjustment process and the trial period for depression and anxiety meds is a bitch. I'm angry because lately I feel weak. Everyone tells me that I'm strong, that I'm an inspiration for dealing with what I deal with, but I don't feel that. I feel fucking tired, guys. I feel weak. I feel like I can't handle all the weight anymore. I'm angry that I can't buy new clothes for myself and that all my pants are too big now, and I feel angry because some people called me too big before, and now others are calling me too small. I'm angry because I have two good days followed by three bad weeks. I am just fucking ANGRY.

I am refusing to hide this anger anymore. I'm refusing to swallow my anger and pretend it doesn't exist anymore. I am angry, I'm allowed to be angry, and being angry is a healthy response to shit that reasonably pisses you off. So here's to being angry. May we recognize it, may we love it, may we learn from it and be able to move forward, healthier and happier than before.

Alexis Olmstead is a 23 year old diva living and working in Seattle, Washington. Currently she's spending her days looking for housemates, obsessing over Dirty Heads and "Hamiltion",  and watching way too much Netflix. For more rants, introspections, and an inside look at a hot-mess of a 20something, check back sporadically. 

Beautiful Struggle.

I have depression. Some people will tell you that depression is a beautiful struggle to have. Depression is often romanticized by society, something pretty girls with dark pasts have, a disease full of tragic slides down the wall, ending in pretty cry face, musical sobs, a song so sad you'd cry too if you heard it.

Fuck. That. Shit. Because of this "beautiful struggle" view of depression, it's not taken as seriously as it should be. Suddenly depression is trendy, anyone having a bad day is "depressed", those who actually suffer from a serious illness written off easily as another Millennial desperate for attention. Do you know how hard it is to find qualified mental health care in this country? It's really freaking hard.

Depression, and mental health issues in general, are anything but beautiful. I can tell you from experience that out of all the things that depression is not, beautiful would be top of the list. I know beautiful people who depression, but that does not make it beautiful in any means. This disease is hideous. It's disgusting. At my best I've not showered for at least a day, at my worst I haven't showered, brushed my hair, or changed my clothes in a week or more.

Lack of motivation reaches to more than just not wanting to get out of bed and being "Sleeping Beauty" all day. It reaches down into your soul, convincing you to quit your job so you can stay in bed longer, to quit doing things you love so you don't have to leave the house, to give up regular hygiene so you can stay in bed, and as an added bonus, don't have to leave the house, because you're disgusting now. Who wants to be around a nappy haired filth person with bad breath? No one. So you stay at home, in bed, running out of money, running out of patience with yourself, with the world. Why do you matter? Why does the world matter? None of it does and that thought goes around and around in your head. Your stomach will growl, but you'll ignore it, because who wants to get out of bed to make themselves food? There's half a granola bar on the bedstand table. You'll eat it around 9 tonight. That's not beautiful. That's part of depression and it is horrid.

When people tell me what a "beautiful struggle" depression is, I think of what I must have looked like the first time I tried to commit suicide, tube down my throat, IV in my arm, my stomach contents being pumped into a bag, vomit coming out of my mouth, mascara running down my face. I was pale and gaunt, a familiar look when I'm at my most depressed. I had been rushed out of the house by my boyfriend so none of my clothes matched, my shoes were half tied, my hair in a bun that was falling out. The second time I was wearing a Christmas sweater in January, paired with some too big sweatpants, mismatched striped socks, and a pair of chic booties. I spent a large part of the night vomiting into little blue bags in the ER, curled up in a hospital bed, hugging myself until my Aunt arrived. My face, doing that pale and gaunt thing again, was thankfully free of makeup, and I didn't have to get the stomach pump, but I was constantly retching from the pills I had taken. This is not beautiful. This is a horrible sight to see. I could feel what I looked like each time, and it wasn't good.

My depression was written off for a long while as a cry for attention. That if I was given more love by those around me, I would get better, my abandonment issues would go away, I would quit laying in bed wishing I could just waste away, knowing that there is no meaning to any of this, we are all going to die and then nothing will come of us after that, and there's no point believing otherwise. At one doctor appointment I briefly mentioned that during my periods my mood swings got exceptionally bad, bordering on full on depression, leading me to take time off work while I was on my period. My doctor told me that was common and that it wasn't serious. I actually had a few doctors tell me that my worries that I was depressed or anxious weren't serious. It wasn't until I had my stomach pumped that I was finally diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Nothing about it was beautiful. Nothing about this was pretty. It was agonizing. I was hopeless. I'm still hopeless most of the time.

My point here, while all jumbled and messy, is that nothing about this debilitating disease is beautiful. That nothing about any mental health issue is beautiful. I wish it was. I wish I could openly tell people when I first met them that I had depression and know they would just think I was a more beautiful soul. But that's just not so. I used to hide my depression as long as possible because I was afraid of losing friends, of being someone who guys wouldn't want to date, of being abandoned. Honestly, these are still things I fear. Because depression has never been and will never be a romantic disease to have.

This thing is ugly, and evil, and ruins lives. Don't believe anything else.



Alexis Olmstead is just your average 20something living and working out of Seattle, Washington. When she's not spending ungodly amounts of time sleeping, Alexis enjoys exploring her new neighborhood, taking photos, and daydreaming of being a Broadway superstar. For more sporadic updates about life, love, and some other stuff, check back occasionally. 

Quit Telling Girls They Don't Need Makeup

"You're so pretty, you don't need makeup" is one of the more seemingly innocent things someone can use as a compliment. However, a compliment that puts down another group of people is not a compliment. I mean, think about the opposite of this phrase. Without meaning to, the people who use this phrase are saying that someone who doesn't fit their standard of beauty needs to wear makeup to cover up their obvious "ugliness". They're saying "if you wear make-up, you're ugly, because if you were pretty, you wouldn't need to spend an hour 'putting your face on' every morning".

But here is the thing: even the most beautiful women on the planet wear make-up. Women who fit Western standards of beauty to a 'T' still wear foundation, still hide freckles and bags under their eyes. They battle acne with concealer, cleverly plump their lips, and spend hours contouring to have the perfectly chiseled look. Looking a certain way is not a prerequisite to wearing makeup. Makeup is about enhancing your features to feel like the best version of yourself. And if that amount of makeup is no makeup, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, either.

What I'm saying here is: wearing makeup or not wearing makeup has nothing to do with the way one looks, and does not determine "prettiness". My whole life I've been told I would never need makeup because I was so pretty. So anytime I wanted to wear makeup, I felt ugly. Because if I was actually pretty, I wouldn't be getting red splotches all over my face that I had to cover up. It wasn't until college that I realized that I could wear makeup, regardless of what other people told me I looked like.

I constantly go back and forth on whether or not I want to wear makeup. Some days I don't want to go through the hassle, and some days I'm just going barefaced in order to let my skin breathe and appreciate my natural self. Other days I feel like getting glammed up, putting on my mauve lipstick, and werking a smokey-eye look. Either way, I'm still the girl my parental units called beautiful, right?

Also, who are we, as people, to tell others what they should or shouldn't put on their face. It's like showing up at their house and telling them what not to wear each day. Its kind of no one's business but theirs. No one should be taking ownership of other people's bodies or faces, even if it is meant with the best intentions.

We should be thinking more about what we are saying to each other, and about each other, even if unintentionally. And in regards to makeup, you do you, beautiful. Only you decide how you look best.

Why All The Millennial Hate?

Hi. I'm a Millennial, and for some reason that means that the world is against everything I do, from the way I communicate with the rest of the world, to the way I style my hair, to the way I lean politically. But why?

I mean, Millennials (defined as those between 18 and 29) are written off as slackers, obsessed with their social media and their cellphones, expecting their parents to coddle them forever. Millennials get such a bad rap that some of us try to distance ourselves from the group, playing a sort of "I'm not like most people who belong to generation Y" kind of game.

Many don't believe we will have the same standard of living as our parents. Which is pretty shitty, considering growing up we had no control over the factors that decide that, and suddenly this is all our fault. We brought our horrible standard of living and pessimism for the future on ourselves, right?

But what everyone should really be dumping on is the horrendous economy that is causing Millennials to live with their parents longer, delay decisions like marriage, child having, and buying houses. Many of us carry more than one job to make ends meet, have cut back on their entertainment and food budgets, and live a life devoid of vacations, something that many generations before us haven't had to do.

Furthermore, it is important to realize the great things that millennials do. 3/4 of millennials are politically engaged, and take actions necessary to educate themselves about politics. Millennials don't have as much of a problem with drugs, at least where marijuana (which is becoming legalized in many places) isn't concerned. Millennials are one of the best educated groups in American history, with higher percentages pursuing higher educations despite bad economics and the rising price of college. We strive to participate and uphold civic duties and are committed to political causes. As a whole, we strive to make a difference in the world, which is good, because we are the generation expected to have all the answers.

We didn't break the economy, but we are expected to fix it. As with the generations before us, we are expected to produce a cure for cancer, a cure for AIDS, finding peace when we are constantly warring with other countries, and with ourselves as a country.

It is easy to understand why people would dislike Millennials, who are seemingly awarded just for participating, although many of those participation trophies are pushed by parents so their kids don't feel left out. We are constantly on our phones using Snapchat and Facebook as a means to communicate versus face to face conversations. I don't have excuses for this. Communication and the ways we carry it out evolve constantly. What was once letters delivered by stagecoach turned into telegraphs turned into (eventually) AOL and is now Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. But despite all the hate, we, as a generation, are strong, and working hard to prove everyone wrong, a feat for which we don't get pretty ribbons or gold medals, or even respect.

So come on, lay off Millennials. We're doing literally everything we can to make the world better.



Alexis is 20something diva working and living out of Okanogan County. She is addicted to Instagram, reading, dancing, singing in the shower, and using trendy vocabulary. She has a dog and a cat who suffer in silence while she reads all her blog posts out loud. For more of this, that, and the other thing, check back at random. 

To The Girl Who Called Me Crazy And Then Pretended It Was A Joke.

You thought you were being funny. You thought you were making a joke, and probably that I wouldn't see it, because it was on my boyfriends wall and not mine. But you forgot, he's my boyfriend. I tend to go on his Facebook a lot. So here's the thing. It wasn't a joke, and it wasn't funny. It was hurtful. Really hurtful.

My whole life I have struggled with anxiety and what I suspect is probably depression. I have spent my whole life thinking I am crazy because I've always felt wrong in relation to every one else. I can't go in to Walmart when its busy and I routinely call out of social events because I realize I won't know most of the people there. I lay in bed for days and don't do anything because my motivation no longer exists, and I spent two months over the summer believing I was a worthless waste of space. I have spent days, months, years, hating myself because of who I am and where I came from. I have convinced myself that I am a failure in every sense of the word for every reason.

When you posted what seemed like a harmless "inside joke" between you and my boyfriend (that he has no recollection of) on his wall, you didn't realize what you were doing. You didn't realize that you were pouring salt in every self-inflicted wound I have ever given myself. You didn't realize that I would sit alone and wonder if everyone else can see my crazy, too. That I would beat myself up for coming to see Cory at work, for calling him on his lunch, for asking him to come home and hang out with me instead of doing other stuff. Because how could you know? Why would you know that I am terrified of being so insane that my boyfriend leaves me? He wouldn't tell you that, I wouldn't tell you that, I don't tell most people that. Until now it has been a secret that I carry around, weighing me down.

And then, and then you said that even if it was a joke between you two he wouldn't tell me? Let me tell you something. I haven't kept a secret from my boyfriend since the day we met. A month after we started dating he was sitting next to me while I got my stomach pumped. He has had to force me to get out of bed and do day to day things like brush my teeth and comb my hair because I won't do it if I feel low enough. I have seen him cry, I have listened to his every fear and hope, and he has done the same for me. There are things about him that he has told me that no one in this world knows. We don't keep things from each other. So even if you did have an inside joke, if I asked him about it, he would tell me. Let me remind you that you're not special to him. You mean nothing, and let me emphasize the nothing here, to him . You are an insignificant passing thought that we laugh at over the course of the day. You have nothing with him, and mean nothing to him, so why you would think that one of your jokes would ever be special enough to keep from me, I do not know.

I know that you'll never see this post because you blocked me on Facebook for calling you out about this whole ordeal. So maybe I am crazy. Crazy for putting this effort out into the universe to respond. But if I've learned anything, it is to always speak up for yourself, even if no one hears you.

I care about myself enough to tell you and the world that I am not crazy. And my boyfriend will never make me crazy. I love him, he loves me, you remain irrelevant.

Acting Men, Appearing Women.

"Men act and women appear."- John Berger

Why do we protect ugly men, but not ugly women? Before you jump at me with the whole "everyone is beautiful" thing, remember that beauty is subjective and dependent on personal taste. And so yes, everyone is beautiful, but what we as two completely separate people, reader, find beautiful is very, very different.

Anyways. When a man is less than the societal norm of attractive and someone points it out, there is always another person quick to step in and interject with qualities that make up for the fact he isn't as pretty as one might have wished. "Yeah, I know he's not super cute, but mylanta can he is so funny!" If a woman is less than the societal norm of attractive she isn't allowed qualities to make up for it, she is just ugly and the only thing to fix it is adding make-up or getting surgery or wearing a bag on her head.

And why? Why is this a thing? Why are men protected from being viewed as ugly in any circumstance while women are thrown under the ugly bus if their hair is wrong?

We could point fingers at the media, sending messages through television and movies that no matter what men look like, if their personality is good enough, or they fight hard enough, or they are a little less of an asshole they will end up with a girl, and not even just a girl, THE girl. But I don't think that is the whole problem. Because is we start blaming the media, we also have to pay attention to the fact that in most movies the men get awards and the women end up domesticated.

No, no. I think the problem goes far beyond media. We know that the men and women are viewed and why they are viewed differently is a mark of society as a whole and that most people blindly follow an example placed before them instead of questioning what they are doing and trying to make a change for the better, but where does that end? And how did it begin? Alexis Olmstead investigates.

The main problem is that from a young age women are taught that above all, we must be beautiful, we must be desirable, no one is going to want to be our friend, our boss, or our lover if we aren't good looking enough, because if we aren't pretty, then how will anyone know that we are also funny, and smart, and have other good traits about us? And I'm not just blowing smoke here. Studies have shown that women who are pretty are seen as having more good traits about them. If you read that whole article, you also read that women who are good looking are also more likely to conform, meaning that we, as a gender are referred to as ugly, there could be nothing wrong with us aesthetically, it could be that we refuse to blindly follow those who have gone on before us. But really, we, as a gender, cannot expect to still be considered funny, or smart, or kind if we are not what most people think of as pretty, we don't have that to fall back on. If one part of our self is seen as ugly, our entire being is then ugly.

But not men! If a man is less than 100% attractive he has a buffer, called his personality. I have never heard a guy make an excuse for dating someone his best friend thought was ugly by saying "yeah, but she has a great personality" but women do it all the time! And there is nothing wrong with that. People should date people for their personality, not for their looks. But there is something wrong with the fact that men can opt out of caring about their appearance because they aren't expected to wear make-up. And yeah, some of them may say they prefer girls who go natural and don't wear make-up, but their idea of natural beauty is still enhanced with cosmetics. Men aren't expected to have it together one hundred percent of the time, and in a world where Hilary Clinton is criticized in the news for not wearing make-up because it's "unprofessional", while her pudgy, red-faced, male-counterparts sit there and nothing is said about their appearance, this is painfully obvious.

Women we idolize are also adding to how men perceive us. Think about who is the most famous right now, and who appears in magazines. All of the women are runway ready most of the time. They workout, they go to the gym, they are always put together, and then the famous man bundle of today includes people like Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, and Will Ferrell. There is nothing wrong with any of these men, but they are famous and women are drooling all over them, yet they are ordinary looking dudes. In today's mainstream media, women have to be super models, men just have to be okay.

Here's the thing that I am realizing: pretty is being dumbed down. Pretty is ordinary and ordinary is ugly, in regards to women, that is. For men, ordinary is what does it for most people all across the board. Women are told consistently that they are never good enough so that they will buy in the billion dollar beauty industry and continue to do so for the rest of their lives. And just when women start to realize that they can be normal and still be considered pretty, someone or something, normally the patriarchy, finds a way to smack us right back down to where we were when we started and resign us to be the silent, passive beauties in the corner that history has resigned us to.

If a woman is ugly, she is going to be told she will go nowhere in life. And as (sadly) science has shown, she might not make it as far as a more attractive female. And if she does does become a higher up, people are going to think she is ugly and bossy anyways, so what's the point in fighting it? Nonconforming normal women, let's be ugly and proud, because no matter what, according to society, profoundly beautiful women will never be as good or deserving as ordinary men.




Alexis Olmstead is a part-time waitress and a full time diva living in sunny Okanogan County. She currently spends all of her time trying to memorize her lines so she will be off book when she is supposed to be. She is currently obsessing over Dancing With the Stars (go team M&M!) and attempting to write the perfect program bio. For more updates, check back every so often. 

SHE-HULK SMASH

Normally I try to refrain from cursing in my posts for the simple fact that there are those who find it inappropriate and will think me less educated or less respectable for doing so. I would like to tell those people right now that while I am very educated and have a sizable vocabulary, today I am angry, and today I am probably going to use slightly less G rated language. 

For some reason I feel like all the assholes of the internet have simultaneously decided to come out of hiding and reveal to the world that they are aliens from the year 1950 and still think that women belong in either the bedroom or the kitchen, and that the only thing good about us as a gender is our ability to have sex. And so, since it's Thursday and I was fed up with these douchebags by Tuesday, I figured it was time to lash out. I am tired of being objectified. I am tired of being treated like I'm second rate because I have boobs. I am tired of random assholes on the street making me feel as though my life was in danger because I want to walk home on a nice evening. And I am especially tired of these self serving dicks hiding behind their damn computers and spreading their filth to the far corners of the internet.

I don't even know where to start on the list of things that set me off this week, I mean, I know that the lack of sleep definitely had something to do with it, but there has just been so much woman hate this week ESPECIALLY that I have been seeing various shades of red for a few days and there are so many things that just made it worse. Ugh. UGGGHHHHHH.

Okay, breathe Alexis, breathe.

We'll start with the story of the Whitworth Confessions post. Whitworth Confessions is a page where students anonymously submit "secrets" and then the administrator posts them. Some are funny, some are sad, this one made a very decent point. "I've had sex with five men and I feel dirty....met a guy who has had sex with 30+ (women) and he gets high fives all around...Just not impressed. Women are sluts, men are studs. Can't win". This girl spoke the truth. If I went out and slept with a different man every night this week, I would develop a reputation as a negative human being. If a guy does it, he is a player, he is a stud, he is held in reverence. Men and women are judged on different scales and society just acts like it is okay for that to happen. Really, it shouldn't matter, because we shouldn't judge people based on who they have sex with or how much sex they are having. Being sexually active is okay. Being a virgin is okay. Judging someone because they are one or the other is not. Now, at a school like Whitworth, where you would think that everyone is loving and accepting and would be able to speak some sense into this child and tell her no, we are all equal and try to make her feel better, some very large jerks happen to live. And honestly, I don't understand how they have made it this far in life or even how they got girlfriends with the way that they treat women (I've witnessed it). You wanna know what asshole number one had to say in response to this? "Skeleton (master) keys vs. Shitty locks". 

SKELETON KEYS VS. SHITTY LOCKS was literally the best thing this guy could come up with. Not only is it the worst analogy ever, but he later went on to defend his statement by saying that he is just a mirror to society and only reflects the opinion held by others. Hey buddy, Jim Jones has some kool-aid waiting for you. Go drink it, you'll like it. I mean, he speaks as if my vagina is something that every guy who might be smooth enough has access to. Uhm, no. I may be biased though, because this same manchild mocked me for telling him that he should allow his girlfriend to be a freethinking woman. He literally made fun of me all night and every time I have an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he doesn't assume it is because I don't know, I'm an intelligent human being, but he implies that my opinion is wrong, I'm a woman, therefore I'm stupid, and there is nothing I can do to remedy the situation. When a female who was commenting on the thread tried to call said asshole out on his comment and horrid analogy, she was insulted, and then when she came back to defend herself was asked if she was on her period.

In case you were wondering, everyone in the world including girls who ask other moody girls if they are PMSing when really you're all just stupid, GIRLS CAN BE CRANKY AND PISSED OFF WHEN THEY AREN'T ON THEIR PERIODS. There are these things called emotions, every human being has them. Female emotions fluctuate regularly, just like male emotions, and sometimes we might even have negative emotions, even if we aren't bleeding from our vagina for seven straight days. Don't like it? Deal with it. I know plenty of places to hide a body and am a PRO at getting blood stains out of clothes.

You can't invalidate someone's argument because they are female. That hasn't been acceptable since the 80's. You can't invalidate a female's argument or opinion because she might be on her period. That's just bad logic. My hormones aren't going to change my opinion. They make me crave ice cream with salt in it, but they aren't going to stop me thinking that the boys who commented on that post are all giant children who will most likely end up divorced and alone unless they learn how to respect women before it is too late.

So that whole episode of Facebook related-anger ended and then tonight, literally about half an hour ago I saw this super awesome video of this girl doing soccer tricks in heels, which made it doubly annoying. Top comment on the video? "Can she cook?" followed by "does she have a penis?". WHAT THE HELL. First, guy number one is all "WOMAN. WOMAN COOK FOR CAVE MAN". And then guy number two, who was actually a female, basically said that this girl wasn't actually impressive because she was a female and obviously the only way to impress people in this shitty ass world is to be born with a penis. Like, "Sorry Joanne, I realized you saved five lives today by carrying those orphans out of a burning building while having only one functional leg, but it's really not that impressive because you have a vagina". Genitalia doesn't make something less or more impressive, kids. This whole "....for a girl" mentality is getting old real quick. Men don't create the standard. The best of the best create the standard. And sometimes, that best happens to be a girl wearing heels kicking a soccer ball around.

Also happening this whole week is the saga of the guy who can't get take a hint. Guy, if you're reading this, be lucky I didn't call you out by name. Dudes in general. If you send a girl a picture of yourself shirtless and then say "you know I'm sexy" and she replies with the most awkward face you could ever imagine and acts disinterested, it is probably because she doesn't find you attractive (or sexy) and is disinterested. For you to continue to persist throughout the entirety of the week after actually only having even been in the same area as this girl twice, is ridiculous, ESPECIALLY when she mentions several times that she doesn't find it necessary for you to send photos of yourself to her. For you to then suggest taking pictures of your lower half, is ludicrous. What are you going to show me? A man who can take a hint? A person with a fully developed brain who can figure out what the word NO means? I would want to see that. In this age of Snapchat and picture messages, it is important to remember that no means no, even if she (he) is rejecting photos that are being sent to them. If a girl doesn't want you sending her shirtless pics, don't do it. Especially if that girl has a blog.

And then, OH MAN. Then some other guy got upset at me because I wouldn't send him nude photos of me. Okay, here's the thing, avid readers, I am not on sending naked pictures terms with anyone I know. And I never will be. If you want to see me naked, there's some other things involved, like I don't know, a long term relationship? Anyways. Objectifying women to the point where you think it is your right to see all women naked is dangerous and stupid. And it is one of the many things that pisses me off. I don't belong to you, dude. I don't have to send you pictures of me, or talk to you, or hang out with you, so you need to stop while you're (kind of) ahead. There is nothing wrong with sending photos of oneself to people. Do whatever you want, I'm not going to judge you, I don't want to see them, but I'm not going to judge you. However, if you ridicule someone for refusing to send promiscuous photos of any sort, I will personally escort you to the gates of Hell and hand you over to the dude in charge myself, you little prick. Humans are not objects and no matter what you do for someone, that doesn't mean they owe you anything in terms of sexual practices.

EVER.

So get rid of that stupid ass term "friend zone". The friend zone is a fictional place men like to pretend they reside in when a girl they are nice to refuses to date them. Because a majority of men believe that if they are nice to things that have vagina's, they will get to take a thing with a vagina home and keep it locked up in the kitchen as a pet. WRONG. And then they get upset when they do nice things for a girl and the girl won't go out with them. Oh, she "let" you take her to lunch? I would have to, even I had no intention of pursuing a relationship with the guy offering, because let's face it: who turns down free food? Certainly not  me. Girls aren't prizes to be won, contrary to what movies and television would have you believe. Women are individuals who might think you are a wonderful friend but won't date you because the romantic attraction isn't there. How is it wrong to agree to be someone's friend and not date them, even if you might have feelings for that girl? Why is she suddenly in the wrong because she won't date someone she doesn't find attractive in any way? I mean, boys lead girls on all the time, and it is perfectly okay. Oh, that's right. I'm wrong because I'm a woman. That's it, isn't it? Being a woman is inherently wrong in today's world.

Or not.

Treat all women like human beings. If you have a daughter, imagine someone saying these horrible things to her. Or your sister, or your mother! If you wouldn't say it to them, don't say it to any other woman, either. Respect women. We deserve it.


Alexis Olmstead is a very tired and very angry 20 year old working out of Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington. She works part time as a waitress, but being a diva is a full time commitment. When she isn't tearing apart strangers over the internet, she is watching way too much tv and crocheting hats she'll never wear. For more rants, check back often.