Goodbye

Every single time it rains I picture your face. And every time I see a bottle of Chardonnay I remember the way you said "I love you" that first time, but didn't remember it in the morning. I remember how a week ago you kissed me with two lips too bitter from wine. Maybe that's why I can handle everything except red wine. Because seeing it reminds me of all the times you used it as a reason to forget my face. In the same breathe you once told me I should never change because I was perfect and beautiful and curvy in all the right places, but that a 5 mile jog every now and then couldn't hurt. You got me so drunk I threw up on the bed and then called me a drunk for a week. Told me I should never drink, if I was too childish to handle it. You told me your parents were getting a divorce, through words so slurred I could hardly make them out, so I stayed to help you, stayed to make sure you didn't get hurt, and you told me to get the fuck out and never come back.

It has been raining ever since I met you and will not stop until you are completely out of my life. Because you, you are chaos. And you are pain. And you make me fucking crazy. Never have I screamed at someone the way I scream at you, and NEVER have I told anyone they deserved the crazy they were getting from me. Never have I BEEN crazy. But you. Oh you, just drove me to the darkest place I had ever been and then expected an apology.

No more. No longer. I'm done.

Goodbye.