Woah.

I am 19 years old and have never experienced the death of a celebrity before. That is, until tonight. Tonight I learned that Cory Monteith, best known for his role as Finn on Glee was found dead in his hotel room from an apparent drug overdose, and honestly, I'm a little less than emotionally stable.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you all that he saved my life somehow or even made it better or any other stuff, because I would be lying and that's not fair. But I will tell you that Cory Monteith was only 31 years old and was a joy to see on screen, and apparently a joy to be with off screen as well. I have watched him grow as an actor and singer on Glee since season one, I have followed him on Twitter, and when he went into rehab, rejoiced with his co-stars about his brave decision.

I mean, its just really - surreal because as fans of television shows we immortalize these people, we don't imagine our shows without them and then suddenly bam. Something like this comes along and you realize that yes, death is a real thing and it touches even those we thought untouchable.

And what about his family and friends? I mean, someone just lost a child. I cannot even begin to fathom what the Monteith family must be going through right now, they only heard the news an hour before the Vancouver Police Department announced his death on the air. Someone just lost a best friend, a brother, a beloved coworker, the night sky just lost a star.

Going on the internet doesn't make it better, either. A place where you can normally escape from sadness is now full of it. My Twitter feed is full of his co-stars heartbroken tweets, Mark Salling's being the worst of all, with just the word "no", and other celebrities sending their condolences. Tumblr is full of my fellow Gleeks posting their heartbroken notes about how cruel the world is, and begging others not to tweet or message anyone linked to Cory because they deserve to just be left alone.

This man was so young. Thirty one is so young. His last tweet was literally about Sharknado. He was about to go back to work on Glee next week. He didn't even look thirty one, which is how he managed to hold on to his role as a recent high school graduate. He was going back to college in the show, he had  a while left on Glee, he had so much longer left to live.

Cory Monteith didn't change my life. Cory Monteith didn't save me from anything, he didn't teach me anything, but as Finn on Glee, he made my life better. He was talented, he was hard working, he was hilarious, but he had demons, and unfortunately, not everyone comes out on top every time.

I am sad. I am so very, very sad.

Rest in peace, Cory Monteith.