An Old Cherokee Man and Some Wolves

I'd like to tell you a story and see if any of you know what I'm talking about.

"An old Cherokee man was teaching his grandson about life.  'A fight is going on inside of me,' he said to the boy. 'It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity...The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness...and faith. The same fight is going on inside of you - and every other person too.' The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'which wolf will win?' The old chief simply replied, 'The one you feed.'"

Don't even pretend with me you haven't heard or read this story, reader. But I have something really crazy to tell you. That's not a Native American legend and has no Native origins whatsoever. Wanna know where it came from? All sources point to Billy Graham and his book from 1978 entitled "The Holy Spirit: Activating God's Power in Your Life". The story was originally used to show the importance of being born again, so it was obviously deeply rooted in Christianity and featured an Eskimo man. It is important to note that Eskimos are racially distinct from Native Americans.

After this it appeared in a 1997 book, again of Christian nature but featured a Native American elder.

Do I approve of this change? No. Why? Because whoever decided it should be changed, and I think that the blame falls to Eliot Rosen and Ellen Burstyn who wrote the 1997 book, did something that I qualify as racist. What did they do? They made the story teller a Native American just because there were implications of earthy type knowledge. However, they did something inconsistent with Native American storytelling. They fed the audience the moral of the story.

There are other things I disagree with about this story, like the fact that as always, black represents evil and white represents all that is good, but mostly because forcing something to be a part of a culture when it isn't is almost as bad as taking away a major part of a culture and then using it for a costume.

If you don't get anything from this post except for the fact that the "Two Wolves" story isn't a Native American legend, I will be happy.

The more you know, kids. The more you know.

A Rant.

Now shut up and listen to my anger.

Finally it has come. My first real life rant on my blog. What is this rant inspired by? A few things. Now you may agree, and think to yourself, "yeah, that is crazy annoying and I'm going to rant about it too!" Or you may think, "wow, she's being really lame right now. Alexis, calm down." But no, I shan't be calm. These are my truths and if you respect me at all, you'll deal with it. Everyone has their way to express being annoyed and mine is to write out my frustration and illustrate the post with Samantha Barks holding guns.

First off, do you know someone who only comes around and pretends to like you when they need something from you then causes huge drama and ignores you until they need you again? Chances are, everyone knows someone like that. I do. I know several. To those people, stop it. We're not stupid. Everyone who is not you KNOWS what you're about and what you're doing and you're just making yourself look the fool and you're about to burn some bridges because there is only so much people can take before they hit their breaking point, flip a table and say "sayonara", and stop taking your crap. Because honestly, people are replaceable. And even if you think you can't be replaced, you can't. Wake up, gain some maturity and stop playing these damn games. Seriously. You'll thank me later.

There's another type of person we all know, and that is the person who needs a significant other to survive. I understand that over dependency may or may not be a psychological issue, but then there are those people who have absolutely NO REASON to be over dependent on anyone and are proclaimed independent young men or women who don't need no man or woman and yet as soon as they find themselves single they are on the hunt to find a new significant other. And if they can't find a significant other, oh dear lord in heaven above watch out because they are going to whine your ear off and its going to suck until finally you find an innocent victim sacrifice it to the depraved beast, and wait until that relationship inevitably fails hoping that eventually the over dependent beast figures out that being single doesn't signify anything except for the fact that they are single and being taken doesn't signify anything except for the fact that now they can't flirt as much and have to worry about making someone jealous.

You know what else irritates me? Overly cute couples. You know, and I know you know what I'm talking about and if you're in a relationship and you DON'T know what I'm talking about, it's because I'm talking about you. Stop it. You're irritating me. Now I'm all for being cute and romantic, but the moment you hit "you're adorable", "no YOU'RE adorable" arguments in public I will literally grab a fish, a whole fish, and slap you in the face with it because seriously NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT ARGUMENT. I would honestly rather hear a couple having a real argument than whatever puppy love vomit inducing fake war you two are having. And please, by all means, make out for seven minutes right in my way. No, I don't mind. Just kidding. I really do mind. Get a room. Because that's another thing people don't want to see - excessive PDA. I understand a kiss on the cheek or lips or whatever when bidding adieu for a few hours, but making out every time you must be separated for more than a minute is a bit excessive, and disgusting. Plus I have to see it and hear it and so does everyone else and no one wants to. And if you're guilty of excessive PDA and you're disgusted by PDA, then you should stop PDA-ing all over the place. STOP IT. STOP IT NOW BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO FISH SLAP YOU ALL.

Now just because anger has no flow or ease or anything, we're going to switch gears and move into the men saying what should happen in women's bodies area of my post because holy god. Why does that even happen? Like, they don't even go here and be here I mean girl world. Men don't understand women's bodies as well as women do because guess what, they AREN'T WOMEN. Do they have to bleed for seven continuous days once a month? Nope. They don't. So even though they have a biological understanding of women and womanhood they can never truly understand us because they aren't us and that's why when a man tries to tell women everywhere that birth control shouldn't be covered by insurance because personal responsibility should not be the government's job to deal with or that women shouldn't be allowed to have an abortion even though she could die because there is a "cute wittle baby in her belly" I get really, really upset. Especially when things are brought to light like, birth control is used to prevent acne in girls, and that black market abortions are a real thing and are very deadly if done incorrectly. If you don't have all the facts, don't make the ruling. In such a male dominated government please educate the jury on my uterus before they start calling the shots about it. Or get the opinions of a few women. And in my ideal world, the motto regarding these topics would be "no uterus, no opinion."

You know who's the worst? No, not Britta. People with double standards and people who say one thing when they want something else. If you like it quiet when you sleep, I suggest being quiet when other people are trying to sleep. And if you want your roommates girlfriend to sleep somewhere else occasionally I suggest not having your girlfriend takes nap in your room while you're not there. It's pretty simple. Also, if you hate it when guys don't give up after you say no, give up after a guy says no. R-E-S-P-E-C-T and general not being a hypocrite go a long way in this world. But having double standards is a good way to get a drink to the face. Also. Say someone asks you a question. Like, hey man, can I eat the rest of your ice cream? If you say yes, but mean no, I was going to eat that in literally fifteen minutes, then you're a terrible person and if you get upset at them for asking and then eating it because you said it was okay there is a special place in hell for you. Not quite the throne, but pretty damn close to it. Like, the folding chair on the right side close.

The rain on everyone's parade person. You know what I'm talking about. No matter how good your day is and no matter what has happened in your life, the minute you see this person, the whole world seems dark and dreary because no matter how beautiful the sky looks or how bright the sun is shining everything in their world is darkness and strangled unicorns. Basically these people grew up watching Disney films where the villain won and they have never enjoyed anything ever. You know, like Eeyore. These Debbie Downers (and yes, the name applies to men too) have to be avoided like the plague if you're day is going any direction of right and if you do see them and ask how their day is going (out of politeness and nothing else) you're sure to get a novella on how bad the world is. My solution is to hand them Ben and Jerry's ice cream and then run away, quickly. There is literally no solution to their problem because they won't take advice and they won't listen to anything good in the world. Their life's soundtrack is I Dreamed a Dream played on repeat and people are continuously stealing their sweet rolls. If you're this kind of person, dear lord, stop it. I'm not sure if its for attention or if you literally can't find a bright side to life but please for the love of all that is good and holy, let someone try to cheer you up instead of bringing all of us down.

People making comments on other people's weight and/or making weight related jokes. It doesn't matter if the person you're commenting on is big or little, they came that way and usually have no choice in the matter. And probably also don't like being manhandled. Anyways. Just because a girl is excessively small does NOT mean you should call her chicken legs or tell her she's thin as a rail or anything of the like. Why? Because chances are she's really self conscious about her weight. I know it sounds ridiculous, but people calling attention to someone's weight is never okay in any context no matter the size of the person because not everyone is completely in love with their body even if they weigh 98 pounds and are 20. On the other side of the spectrum, calling negative or positive attention to a larger girls body isn't good either. You may call a girl fat that has until that moment in time been very self confident in her image. Boom. Eating disorder. I'm not exaggerating, it's literally that easy to affect the way people see themselves.

And then there are people who are way too full of themselves because they're good looking and they know it. Okay, being confident is fine. I'm not dissing that. What I'm dissing is the fact that there people in this world who are literally so attractive they have Facebook fan pages because people want to stare at them so much. And is that a good thing for their ego? No. Because they turn into the most egotistical human beings ever. I'm not saying the necessarily asked for those fan pages, because I don't think anyone would ask for that, but I am saying that it does go to their heads because why wouldn't it? And these people expect for the world to come to them on a silver platter just because they are good looking and talented and basically the whole package. Chances are it will, but also they're going to turn into a giant douche and that's sad.

You know what else irritates me? Rape jokes. Yeah, that escalated quickly, I know. But I just thought of it. Rape is a serious issue that is still joked about in most of society. Saying you got raped by someone during a game of cards when you lost intensely isn't cool. It's sick. It's wrong. And most importantly, it makes it seems like its okay for other people to joke about rape too. Here's some statistics that aren't so funny so you'll shut the frak up and stop joking about this very tender topic. The lowest estimate the Department of Justice can give for the number of people raped every year is 300,000. Wanna know the cap on that estimate? 1.3 million. Why is there such a huge gap between the high and low? Because not all rape is reported due to the fact that the victims are too scared to actually report the crime. There is a 1 in 4 chance that a girl will be raped in college. ONE IN FOUR. That's ridiculous. You know what that means, that there is also a large chance that someone you know from college has been raped. 15 percent of the rapes that occur in America happen to girls under the age of 12. But this all hilarious, right? It's still okay to make jokes about rape, right? It's still okay to use rape as a slang term, right? No, it's not. There are very few instances where I would no longer be friends with someone because of what they said, but chances are, if you make a rape joke, don't count on me talking to you ever again.

Druggies, you are all Jeff. I am Annie. 

People who do drugs who CANNOT SHUT UP about doing drugs also get my goat. And yes, I just used that term. We get it, you do drugs. You like doing drugs. You enjoy killing off brain cells. That stuff that slowly turns you into a mindless slab of flesh has taken over your life and you've just run out and you need more.You cannot function without hallucinogens. You, druggies, have your made your freaking point. Shut the hell up. NOW. No one cares. And no, people don't like people who do drugs more than the rest of average non idiotic non drug using America. Everyone can tell you do drugs, mostly because you can't shut the eff up about them, and we're all judging you. Get your lives together. Come on. And also, if you have a serious addiction, please go get help. I urge you.

I'm out of things to be irritated about and strangely, I feel better. See, ranting does solve problems! If you have stuck with me until the end of this post, you deserve a cake or something, because it was probably painful to read. But now I am soothed and can go back to blogging about things that actually matter, rather than the trivial annoyances of a young adult female.

Artifacts of the "90's Kids"

Maybe its the fact I've technically been an adult for almost two years now or that I recently heard a rumour that Disney will no longer be doing hand drawn animation, but is it just me or is it becoming increasingly evident that our childhood is over?

2010 marked the end of the Toy Story franchise. 90's kids (and possibly their parents) pushed small children out of the way at theaters to get tickets and wiped their teary eyes as Woody said "so long, partner" to not only Andy, but our childhood years as well. No more would there be Buzz, Woody, and Jessie riding (or flying) around saving the day. For a couple short hours we were transported back to yesteryear and the days of begging to see Toy Story in theaters and then, as Andy went off to college, hit with the sudden realization that we had grown up. We're adults now. This is it.

And then the next year, 2011 marked the release of Harry Potter 7, Part 2. The Harry Potter phenomenon marked a generation that avid HP fans call "the Harry Potter generation". JK Rowling wrote books so marvelous that they filled our heads full of wonder and possibilities, then went on to inspire a film series that was so amazing that the release of the final film was a televised national event that left viewers the world over in tears. I personally grew up with the books and the movies and when I saw "HP 8" and it was over I was so upset. Another moment where I realized that I was now a grown up hit me. My childhood, everything I grew up as a girl is basically ending.

So now, after this lengthy opening, I would like to make a list of things that I remember from childhood that made being a kid born in the 90's so cool. Also, just to make this a little bit more interesting, and in an effort to be semi-informative, I will also reveal the year things went downhill for that thing. We're growing up kids, which definitely sucks.

1. First and most obviously - VHS Tapes. Remember when those things used to get messed up or even worse, the VCR would "eat" the tape and you would have to use your finger to wind them back up? You could even accidentally record over some things if you weren't careful. They lost popularity after 2000 and in 2006 production was stopped altogether. 
2. M.A.S.H. Anyone remember that? M.A.S.H. was the fortune telling game of our youth. I knew that I would live in a mansion with Jesse McCartney and drive a Mercedes by the time I was in the fifth grade. I'm sure this game still exists, but let's be real, after 7th grade it was dead.
3. Saturday Morning Cartoons! Now kids just kind of watch cartoons on television every morning, but not in the super cool way we had it. Where abc1 literally had hours of cartoons and cartoons only on their network every Saturday morning. And the cartoons were actually worth watching. While One Saturday Morning officially ended in 2011, let's not kid ourselves. It stopped being quality entertainment in right around 2004. 
4. Trapper Keepers. Remember those things? I usually called them binders, but they weren't allowed in most elementary schools. The first thing I got for middle school? A trapper keeper. They were SO HANDY! And also, they had cool pictures on them and you could hide stuff in them and there was the one child who inevitably would open theirs and all its guts would fall out. That might just be a high school reminiscing thing. As far as I know, Trapper Keepers are still being made.
5. Macarena. Enough said. It's no longer done at most dances.
6. In West Philadelphia born and raised....you should know the rest. Because Fresh Prince was one of the best byproducts of the 90's as far as I'm concerned. The comedy, the relate-ability (now that we're all old enough to relate to most of it) and Will Smith in general made this show a hit. When did it end? 1996. I was three. But thanks to re-runs I've enjoyed this show more and more as the years have progressed. 
7. Beanie Babies. Do people still go nuts over those? The original line stopped being produced in 1999 but because they were so popular, production began again in 2000. I had a friend who brought a different Beanie Baby to school every single day. That's at least 180 different Beanies that she owned. That's what I call a craze.
8. Remember Tamagotchis? Who doesn't? Okay well lets of people probably don't. But for some reason there was an appeal to raising something in your pocket and making it sure it stayed alive. Mine did not. According to my research these toys are still produced in at least Japan, where they originated and there are several games (and apps!) that can bring all that joy of childhood back to your pocket where it belongs. 
9. Slap Bracelets. How many times did I get injured from slapping my wrist with a slap bracelet too hard? The limit does not exist. Because of excessive injuries due to slapping too hard, slap bracelets were banned in most school districts and declined in popularity after around 2000.
10. Mary Kate and Ashley as adorable small children. In fact most child stars from our generation. Who else do I miss? Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, and Raven Symone (although her show become popular in the early 2000's). The end of an era came around 2004 with most of them. Now they are either drug addicts or have faded into obscurity. 
11. Bill Nye and The Magic School Bus. Becoming educated used to be a lot more fun. Especially when cartoons were allowed in school. Bill Nye stopped making educational films in 1998 but they are still used in quite a few classrooms today. Magic School Bus ended in 1997 but continued to play on television and in classrooms for quite a while after that. 
12. Boy Meets World. Life lessons learned. I used to miss Cory and Topanga and Feeny but then I heard and watched as it was confirmed that Girl Meets World, a spin off about Cory and Topanga's daughter would soon be airing. That's all.
13. Hey Arnold, Recess, Full House, The Powerpuff Girls, Sister, Sister, Kim Possible....I could go on for hours. What happened to good cartoons? Maybe I just got too old and stopped caring for them. Although I will never be too old for Full House, which ended in 1995 after 192 episodes and 24 seasons. 
14. I was going to list Furby here but then remembered that Furby is the spawn of Satan and that they have recently been retooled to be sold to the new generation. Keep your exorcist on call, friends. 
15. Easy Bake Oven. They still make them, but for some reason it is no longer acceptable for a 20 year old to insist on making all her dessert in one. 
16. Boy Bands. Like N-Sync and The Backstreet Boys. Guilty pleasures. I cannot lie, on more than one occasion I have spotifyed my favorite childhood boys just to hear those soulful (hahaha) tunes once more.
17. Carmen Sandiego. Who has yet to be found. I mean, she constituted a part of my childhood and still there's this nagging cliff-hanger. Where is she?
18. Dial up internet. Remember when you could call people and it would ruin the internet in the whole house for them? Ah. Good times. I don't know when that ended, but thank God it did. 
19. Gusher commercials where people's heads exploded. I was terrified as a child that upon eating those things I too, would explode. I'm glad I got over that. 
20. Skip-Its. Every girl at recess, and I mean EVERY girl had a skip-it except for me for most of the year. And we would use them to have contests to see who could go the longest. Skip-Its, the lonely girls jump rope (which is already a single person toy...) were discontinued in 2009. 
21. My childhood. It officially ended on my 18th birthday back in 2011, but I still carry that childish butterfly clip wearing, lip smacking, Kidz Bop (album 3!) obsessed little girl in my heart. 

Childhood isn't over until you decide, and for some reason I've decided to prolong mine at least until the end of Monsters University. Who knows, maybe I'll put off accepting my adulthood even longer, no one knows. 

Murder at College Terrace

At 7 am this morning I awoke to a crime scene outside of my window. I left my room and the first thing I heard was that a girl had been shot, not thirty feet from my window. While on the phone with my grandma I saw her body.

I can still see the way her face looked. Almost as pale as her hair, her mouth still making the shape of her final scream.

And then again in my dreams, her slipper clad feet chasing after me, her mouth grotesquely agape, screaming at me. "Why didn't you look closer? Why didn't you care more? Why were you so chipper when talking to the police when they asked about me?" And then she pulls out a knife and stabs me with it, my body landing exactly where hers laid only hours before.

And then I wake up, just as my horrified roommates spy my dead body while peering out the sliding glass door. Why do I feel so guilty? Why did seeing this body affect me so much? I had no relation to this girl and know nothing about the case other than what was told in the news. I should be able to carry on as usual. But then again, I saw death this morning.

I saw a girl, my age, who at the time I returned home around 10 pm last night, was living life as usual, and when I woke up this morning had been struck down in the prime of her life. I suddenly came to a complete realization that this world is a terrible place and at any moment in time our lives could just end, whether it is due to natural causes or at the hands of someone else.

And why is that? When did we decide it was okay to place our lives over the lives of others? When did we, as humans decide that we have a right to determine that? Who decides? Who made themselves so high above the rest of us that they could say "I'm human enough to live but this innocent girl who has barely begun life is not." And most importantly, what makes some people think that they are some sort of god among men?

I hope that the moment that poor girl screamed and died the killer realized they were a monster. I hope that's why they ran, because they couldn't bear to stand there and look at the awful thing they had done. No one, under any circumstances deserves to die. And when a killer goes out and takes away someone life, the victim isn't the only who dies.

That girl had parents, friends, relatives, co-workers who all have to now carry on with their lives without her, who couldn't have been more than 25. A piece of these people's lives DIED with her in the moment that she took her last breath. An estimated 300 or so people live in College Terrace Apartments where the victim was found and gone is there piece of mind. And those things and pieces of people that died with that girl are also on the killers hands.

I hope the killer is sitting in a dark room somewhere tortured by the thing they did. I hope they know that for the rest of their life, they'll wake up and she won't. And I hope they realize they can't run forever and that they will be caught and brought to justice. I hope to God that the killer sits in prison for the rest of their life, remembering what they did. Because by taking this girls life, they have forfeited their own.

Edit: After writing this up at 11:45 pm some new information has been brought to light in this case. 

The victims name was Heather Cassel, and she was 20 years old. She was the same age as me. I can't even imagine the grief that her family and friends must be feeling for her life to be cut short so soon. Rest in peace. 

Two suspects have been arrested, Johnathon Ritchey, 23, and Gary Stoddard, 45. A gun, believed to be the murder weapon has also been recovered along with Cassel's vehicle. 

Ritchey was arrested for first degree murder and Stoddard was arrested for first degree murder and kidnapping. 

For more information see the following links. 
Woman shot, killed at apartment complex near SFCC (kxly)
Woman shot, killed outside apartment near SFCC (krem2 news)
Two suspects arrested in deadly shooting near SFCC (kxly)
Woman shot in front of apartment complex has been identified (krem2 news)

Is Javert REALLY a Villain?

Illustration from the original publication of Les Mis

In case anyone who reads my blog doesn't know, I'm a HUGE Les Miserables fan. I have been since the day we watched it in my freshman choir class. In fact, Les Miserables is the show that pushed me down the rabbit hole of acting. That being said, I've had quite a while to come to terms with all of the characters, strip them down to their most basic, literary, form, dissect them and decide on my personal interpretation of each individual. After doing that I had a revelation. Javert isn't the villain most people write him off to be.

In most books/movies/musicals and plays, there are good guys, and there are bad guys. However, Les Mis isn't that cut and dry. Yes, Javert is ruthless, tries to take down the barricade from within, and will NOT leave Valjean alone, but why does he do all these things? Because that's his job. Through the whole of Les Mis Javert is carefully guided by his moral compass, and only does what he thinks is right because he came from the gutters, he knows the types of people who live there, he knows they don't always live up to the letter of the law, and he doesn't want to end up back there. Can you really blame him for that?

I will allow that he is Valjean's antithesis but only because Valjean breaks parole and thus the law. And breaking parole is grounds for immediate imprisonment. That's not archaic either. In fact, you STILL go to jail for breaking parole, and the police WILL come and find you. Just live Javert went to find Valjean. So yes, Javert is Valjeans enemy, but not a villain, because as even dear old Jean states, Inspector Javert is only doing his duty in hunting the ex-convict down.

I believe that's why Valjean is so merciful and lets Javert escape from the students virtually unharmed. Really he has done no wrong, and only upheld the law. Of course Valjean's actions cause Javert's suicide, but he doesn't jump off that bridge because he can't beat Valjean, he jumps off that bridge because for once his moral compass might not be completely correct and if that's true then he is indebted a thief and Javert cannot handle that.

After Valjean saves Javert a moral dilemma introduces itself to Javert. This man, who's original transgression was stealing bread for his sisters family and has been too busy saving other people's lives to be arrested, has also saved Javert. Javert would have died at the hands of the students and could have just as easily died by Valjean, in fact, Javert believes he was supposed to be killed by Valjean. But he was spared. He owes this man something, and the only way Javert knows to pay his debt is to let Valjean walk free, but then he is going against everything he has believed and breaking the law at the same time. And what if Valjean goes to jail? Then Javert has to live, knowing that he owed this thief his life and sent him back to a life of slavery. There is no way out.

So he kills himself. In my eyes Javert has the hardest struggle. He continually fights his morality, from the moment he first meets Valjean as the mayor and suspects him of being 24601 to the moment he takes his life.  If anything, Javert is a tragedy, not a villain. He tried to do right and ended up having to let the criminal he'd been chasing for 15 years escape.

I'm sorry you got such a crap ending, Javert. You just tried to do good.

I will not forget your name.

Those Awkward Things.

Over the course of our lives we (presumably) go through many "awkward stages" like the awkward puberty stage, the awkward boys are icky/girls are icky but why do I like them so much stage, and the awkward the internet is new and weird and I have to have a new and weird email address to prove it.

An almost accurate representation of my ballet days.

This conversation topic came up today while my boyfriend and I watched one of our friends unsuccessfully try to remember which of his six email addresses went with his Steam account. Drew, the non-forgetful elitist he is of course very loudly wondered how Danny could ever forget his email address. Of course the answer is that Danny has "like, six!" I too followed that trend, most of them some variant of my name and only two that I use regularly. All the rest have been lost to spam or forgotten emails, and one, my first email address ever, has been left behind due to the sheer embarrassment of telling folks that me, the 19 year old was once 12 and had "balletsuperstar" as their msn username. Of course, this is now information that they know since I vehemently denied them knowledge, but in the effort of blogging truthfully, here you go. Just to be clear, I was no superstar. I was the gangly girl with bad feet who abandoned the art after a year, but I did enjoy it, even if it led to an embarrassing/awkward email address.

Life is full of those awkward moments and things, though. And that's one of the best parts of growing up. Those awkward stages of life provide the best stories. One of my best male friends at Oroville High School was my first crush. So back in middle school before I was as social as I am today, I would sit in art class staring wistfully at this tall, in my eyes beautiful, boy and hope that someday he'd talk to me. And then one day he came up to me and the first words ever spoken in our friendship were "why do you stare at me so much?" There was the awkward moments all through high school where two people had to finally admit that they liked each other when everyone else had been shipping each for months, the first kiss, who DOESN'T have an awkward first kiss story?

My point is that later on, after you're through with all these rites of passage you have almost a book worth of awkward stories to pass on to others when times get tough or to think on when your day is less than sunshine-y.

So here, in this all to post where I don't think I really made a clear point, all I can say is take advantage of all those awkward moments. Own that awkwardness, reader. Because later on its going to be one helluva story.