Wedding ≠ Sexy

I don't know if this is a defect on my part r not, but whenever I think of me on my wedding day, I never think of myself looking sexy. By saying that, I'm not saying that I don't think I'm pretty, because believe me, I'm chalk-full of self-appreciation, I just don't think that in the whole equation of my wedding day, sex appeal does not belong. In fact, I've always pictured wedding days of something that's full of beauty, grace, and call me old fashioned, but modesty as well. Why are such things entering my mind? Because of wedding dress descriptions on Pinterest. Yup, social networking sites have me thinking about my life, and more specifically, my wedding day.

Like I mentioned before, the word wedding has never been equated with sex appeal in my mind. In fact, I decided long ago that my dress would be quite modest. Upon request, I'll describe my dream dress, but to save time, I'm not going to detail it in this post. While many women go for the lower cut and modern dresses as a symbol of being comfortable with themselves and being allowed to wear what they please, I hold to the belief that the only person who I want checking me out come my wedding day, is my husband, because after all, that's why I've been saving myself, is so that he doesn't have to share me with anyone else. On this whole traditions track, I'm also going to wear a veil, something that is disappearing from weddings with surprising speed. Why? Because I like the symbolism. (What symbolism? Well, just like the white gown, a veil represents virginity, innocence, and purity). I like the fact that as a whole, weddings are traditionally simple and pure, kinda like love should be, right?

As zealous as I am about tradition (insert Fiddler On the Roof tune here) I am leaving some things out on my big day, the biggest but smallest thing would be the word "obey" that comes with the traditional vows (I may also request our own vows, I like the romance of writing your own). Also, at this point, I think the garter is going to have to go. And I don't mean on my leg. I mean it has no place in my wedding. Why? Because I don't need to obey anyone except my God and my future husband, as much as he would like to pretend, will not be my God. And, going back to the whole modesty thing, if hubby wants to take my clothes off, he can wait until the honeymoon, I mean, we'll be in public! If he really wants to throw something to his crazed groomsmen, we'll get some season passes to see the Giants or something.

Prude? Maybe a little bit.
Ashamed? Never.

Life is More Than Just Existing

"Today is a gorgeous day, and despite the mild wind, running would be excellent right now." This is a thought that I have had recurringly over the past few days, however, have I gone running? No. I opt instead to watch a movie, eat more ice cream or waste my time on Facebook (as most of you have noticed, I currently fall into the "facebooking her life away" catagory). Time well spent? I'll be the first to say no.

I've been thinking about this (as well as new monologue pieces) a lot lately. People waste SO much time doing meaningless things so that they can avoid doing something worthwhile. And I'm not just talking about putting off the homework for another hour type of procastination, either. People find excuses not have new experiences or enrich their lives somehow. And by people, I mean myself included.

I know often times I eschew things I would enjoy doing because there is no one to accompany me in the endeavor. Another pretty obvious fact about me - I'm super social. But over these past few months I've learned that some things are best experienced in solitude, where social norms don't really come into play and the mind, instead of thinking of acceptable responses and conversation topics, can focus on the surrounding beauty of a sunset, or a clear, starry night.

Whilst giving yourself that "me" (or "you", in this situation) time, your mind is able to make conclusions about life without input from others. You don't have to worry about whether your company feels ignored, you can just be and have an experience that you'll never forget, whether its deciding to go back to school while out on a walk by yourself or learning that the sky is best viewed at night while lying on a blanket, your mind is wonderful if you allow it to roam free.

So - here's to living. And by living, I mean more than merely existing. I mean actively participating in the wonderful life that I have been given and making my own story, rather than sitting meekly on the sidelines and watching everyone else write theirs.